More often than not, men tend to be infuriated when they are refused sex by their significant others.

The phrase ‘I am tired’ becomes an anthem they hate to sing along to because it is the last thing they want to hear from their partners. Unfortunately, this can become the straw that breaks the camel’s back if there is no understanding between partners.

On Home Affairs last Saturday, Dr. Padi Ayertey sought to break it down to men and to a certain extent some women, reasons why women are not simply a ‘push to start’ when it comes to sex.

Women, per their physiological makeup, have variances in their hormones and this affects the mood they may have at any given time.

“A man’s hormones are the same, small variations but they are not that wild. A woman’s hormones are designed to fluctuate; designed to go up and come down to allow her perform her reproductive duties. The results of that are that, those fluctuations cause her moods to fluctuate”, he said.

These fluctuating hormones are influenced by their menstrual cycles. At one point in the cycle, it may be up and at another point, may be down.

“At the beginning of your cycle, some hormones go up to prepare the lining of the womb for pregnancy, in the middle of the cycle, another hormone goes up to cause you to ovulate and from the middle of the cycle going, the hormones stay up and would eventually come down and that’s when you have your menses.”

He further stated that, for ladies with a normal cycle, when the hormones go up, your desire for sex increases, and when it comes down, the desire decreases.

“A woman may notice that around the middle of her cycle, her libido is higher because the body is encouraging you to have sex because that is how you can have a baby. Your vaginal secretions become more slippery to enhance intercourse and when that period passes, the hormones change. Just before you have your menses is when some of the hormones are at their lowest and for some, they experience PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome).”

Men should understand that they are usually not the problem when a woman says she is tired.

An understanding of these physiological issues on the part of both parties helps make the relationship easier. 

It is natural and can’t be changed. Hopefully, couples with this ‘new found knowledge’ can have better sexual experiences and build beautiful relationships and marriages.