Brittany and Briana Deane Salyers and their husbands, identical twins Josh and Jeremy Salyers, have learned that double the love under one roof comes with unique challenges.

Briana, 37, tells PEOPLE the four of them "get to live this dream" in their shared Virginia home — something sustainable thanks to a strategy for handling problems that arise in their quaternary marriage, a term used to describe when identical twins marry identical twins.

"If Josh and Jeremy are in an argument, Briana and I try not to get into it," says Brittany. "If Briana and I are in a disagreement, Josh and Jeremy try to not get into it. That's probably good advice for anybody who's married."

And whenever there is conflict, Briana says "keeping my eye on the prize" helps her refocus.

"Sometimes I think you get used to living the dream, and it's nice to take some time to remind yourself of how badly you wanted it when you were younger, and how impossible it seemed at times growing up and when we were dating," she continues. "And now we have it. So that keeps us strong."

As for their individual marriages, the sisters — who both tied the knot in 2017 after meeting their husbands at the Twins Day Festival in Ohio — say they maintain "a forever dating" approach.

"Each couple does a good job of striking that balance of, yes, being best friends and family, but still keeping a certain formality," Brittany explains. "I think a lot of couples slip into that, and I think that works against them. We're so close, but we do keep it a romantic relationship."

Briana adds, "We're not a 'leave the bathroom door open' type."

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These parameters have made their unions happy and fulfilling.

"I think the biggest surprise about marriage is that it's not really a lot of work," Jeremy says. "I think that you all hear that it's a lot of work to be married, but it's never really felt like work."

His wife Briana agrees. "I had heard that my whole life, too. That marriage will be so hard, and it's not," she says. "I feel very lucky."

The couples also live with sons Jett (born to Brittany and Josh, who announced the birth in January 2021) and Jax (born to Briana and Jeremy four months later). The boys — who are not only cousins also genetic siblings known as "quaternary twins" — share the same room and have close relationships with all four adults.

"Sometimes they both want one mom, or they'll turn around and both want the other mom," Briana previously told PEOPLE.