Hair done, nails done, everything did. This is what the average guy assumes is on your pre-date checklist. Guess what? While you may assume we just take a quick shower, slap on some deodorant, and put on the closest clean clothes that aren't too wrinkled from being thrown in the "probably clean" laundry bin, many of the items above are on our to-do list, too...along with some other surprising activities.

1. Eat Right
I love spicy foods, but they give me gas. So unless I really just don't like this woman, I'm going to steer clear of the Thai curry leftovers until the day after the big date. I also don't want my breath to smell like a hobbit's foot, so the garlic pasta is off the menu that night.

2. Get Pumped
A pre-date gym visit helps boost our self-image, and a good self-image leads to confidence. Confidence goes hand in hand with comfort, and comfort leads to a good date. We might not (slash definitely don't) have Chris Hemsworth’s biceps or McConaughey’s pecs, but we like to pretend we do when we're doing our pre-date gym thing. We’re coming for you, Thor!

3. Hair Done, Nails Done, Everything Did
I told you. After a nice shower (or bath if your man is feeling especially fabulous that day) we spend five minutes fixing our hair, five minutes cutting our nails, five minutes manscaping (unless your guy is Hungarian...then maybe more). All of this is followed by a solid 20 minutes of staring into the mirror to figure out which "look" is most seductive. This is the look we will use during dinner to...woo you.

4. Plan Our Wardrobe
No, we don't blindly grab pants out of drawers and shirts off of hangers. We really try. We don't always succeed, but dammit we put in some effort to channel our inner David Beckham. Even if we look like a mall mannequin from Macy's, please try and find one part of the outfit you like and let us know so we don't feel like we did it all in vain.

5. Empty The Chamber
There is nothing more embarrassing than showing up at the gun range with a loaded gun, getting a little trigger-happy too quickly, and accidentally shooting yourself. You catch my drift? It's emasculating, and people are probably going to tell their friends about it. Maybe he hadn't been to the range in a while, he forgot how to handle your firearm properly, and it just went off. Maybe it's a new range that he's never been to before, and it's so shockingly beautiful that before he knows it, he's firing a few rounds into the air when you walk out of the bathroom. Do you get what I'm saying? It's masturbation. Emptying the chamber. I know you don't want to think about it, but it's true. It eases stress and takes his mind off of his physical desires for a while, which in turn helps him to actually connect with you on an intellectual level. It also keeps him from "firing his gun" too early if you go home with each other at the end of the night. Speaking of which...

6. Prepare For The Return
As we venture out on this date, there is always the thought, the hope, the desire that it will end back at our place. We must make sure everything is in order in case this happens. Do we have a bottle of wine available? Is the place (relatively) clean? Is there a scented candle so we can cover the smell of the leftover Thai curry and garlic pasta in the fridge? Only then are we ready.

Now, I can't give away all of our pre-date preparations (the intricacies of flossing, choosing cologne, finding a sacrificial lamb, etc. would bore you, I'm sure). But I hope this glimpse into our pre-date world was informative. If you ladies are willing to spend who knows how long getting ready in an attempt to feel your best and impress us, then it's only right that we do something for you, too. We might not always seem like we tried, but I promise a lot of us really do. Oh, and we don't really sacrifice lambs.