Audio By Carbonatix
Premarital sex is one of the most debatable issues, although the Bible has clearly advised singles to abstain from sex until after marriage.
Discussing the topic, 'What are you doing that you shouldn't be doing while courting' on JoyFM's Home Affairs program hosted by Edem Knight-Tay, three counsellors assembled on the show established that although courtship is a stage for discovery, couples must not engage in husband and wife duties.
They also highlighted the fact that people are doing too much that they are not supposed to do at the courtship level.
A marriage life counsellor, Theresa Wiafe Asante, affectionately called Mama T, is unhappy that "young people are engaging in too much nonsense sex in the name of courtship."
She complained bitterly about how it's now normal for ladies to perform a wife's duty at the courtship level.
"Sleeping over, having sex, going to the market, making breakfast, are duties of a wife, and single ladies must not engage in them," she emphasised.
Mama T also discouraged young men and women from financing the lifestyles of people they are not married to because most of them turn out to be ingrates.
She rather advised would-be-couples to go steady when courting.
"Talk about relevant things and study each other quite well. Go out more, pray together often, and do things that are beneficial to both of you," she said.
A Wellness Coach, Ariel also chipped in that most ladies think "sleeping over and moving into a man's home will show the man that they are ready for marriage and trap them."
But in her opinion, she thinks sleeping over or moving in rather clouds the judgment of the would-be couples and does not make them talk about the important things.
She, therefore, advised people who are courting and would want their relationship to lead to marriage to talk about what they expect of the relationship.
"You can even talk about how many children you want to have, how you want to live, talk about money and your goals. Is the person you are courting excited about the things you want to achieve on your own?" she quizzed.
A relationship enthusiast, Kobina Ata-Bedu also added that at the courtship level, a person needs to know who they are and who their would-be spouse is, what they stand for and what the other person also stands for.
"Have deeper conversations on sex, money, career, individual ambitions, and what makes you happy.
Most importantly, try and answer the question, Why do I want to get married?" he advised.
Although Mr. Ata-Bedu thinks that sometimes it is necessary to sleep over at a would-be spouse's home to assess how they live, and whether they'll be good spousal materials, he discouraged would-be couples from sleeping together before marriage, explaining that premarital sex can cloud a person’s judgment.
Moreover, the Bible abhors such acts because having sex with a woman yokes you with her, and when you engage in the act with multiple people, then it's even more disastrous.
So, in order not to do things you are not supposed to do during courtship, do not make all your social life about your partner and do not sacrifice your needs and wants because you are desperate to get married.
"There's nothing more empowering than being your own friend," Ariel summed up the discussion.
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