Signs you need more couple time

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and all too easy for your relationship to get to a point of feeling like a shared to-do list without anything sexy or fun on the horizon. When you’re in the weeds of raising children and meeting work demands it’s not uncommon to lose the bond to one another and start drifting apart. Before you know it, a great deal of time can go by without meaningful connection, or bad habits which erode the spark between you can start to take hold.

The best way to combat the sense of relationship distance or romantic difficulty is to spend quality one on one time with each other. This happens easily and enthusiastically when you are first together but can be harder to achieve the more you juggle together in your lives. There are some obvious and then more subtle signs to pay attention to in your relationship that should tell you to stop and smell the roses together. The longer you leave reconnecting with one another, the more difficult it becomes. Time together doesn’t magically appear – you have to carve it out and make it a priority and a habit not to break. Here are some signs to look out for:

1. Not talking to each other or negative talking

If you are moving about your lives but not actually talking to one another day after day or you are consistently having snarky conversations about stresses and pressures or mostly mundane conversations about nothing like housework and bills then you are losing your sense of why you are a couple. It’s not all business – remember the pleasure too. Go spend some time together and ban conversations about negative things and nothing things. Go delve into each other’s important thoughts and feelings.

2. No physical contact in more than a week

Being affectionate, sensual and sexual with each other is a vital part of your romantic relationship. It is also your shared expression of attraction, desire and love for one another. If it is neglected, there will be a toll on you each as individuals and you as a couple. You and your partner will miss the sense of touch and physical expression of affection and desire. If you go a week or longer without any physical contact (assuming you are in the same geography of course), then you need to go spend some couple time together and remind yourselves that you’re a couple.

3. You’ve stopped cheerfully greeting each other

Not every day can be a great day – sometimes life is hard or sad. However, in the main, your partner should be a source of happiness and you should feel good about coming home to them and like seeing them. If you take saying hello for granted and stop asking how they are, or how their day has been, it’s really time to reconnect and work out the not so good kinks in your relationship. You’re meant to be there for one another – so go be there.

4. You go to bed separately

There are often times couples sleep apart for a variety of reasons and to necessitate a good night’s sleep for all. But if you have spent the better part of a few weeks like ships in the night, not seeing each other at bedtime or when you wake, then you can start to feel like roommates rather than intimate lovers and this will decrease your connection and your opportunity for private communication as well. Get on the same schedule at least part of the time on a regular basis so you retain a sense of shared intimacy in a space – your bedroom – that belongs only to the two of you, regardless of your living and sleeping situation.

5. You haven’t done anything fun together in two weeks

You share your life for better or worse and while you may be the couple who hangs in and supports each other during the tougher times, it’s also equally important to enjoy each other and have fun. If a shared life is only hard, without time to dance or laugh, then you’ve forgotten the benefit of sharing life and love with someone who is your ally, friend, lover and joy. Go let your hair down together!

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