Dear Sam,

I was very happy when I received your letter. Indeed, I have been waiting for this for so long a time now. My mail box has been empty and misses your letters but it is nowhere compared to how my heart misses you. Of course, ever since we made our love public, most people have been interested in our love life. In this age where a lot of relationships are crushing, many are wondering how we keep our love stronger and stronger.

 I am always unable to hide my excitement when I receive your letters so I share with my female friends. They are always in constant adulation of you; the way you write and how real you are with me. They keep telling me they wish they had a guy like you. My dear, there is no one on campus who does not know of us. You know, you can trust women to propagate any news worth hearing for the ears. Yes! Your letters are on “wheels” in my hood and most of the drivers are the ladies. Do you know that a lady on campus told her boyfriend to be like you? They are no longer together because the guy was so furious. Hahahaha, don’t let your “head swell” ooo.

Indeed, the courage you display in your letters in being honest with me is much appreciated.  Though, I must admit some of your words deeply prick me in the heart and move me to tears sometimes. I know you hate to see me cry but like a bitter pill I need to swallow to get healed, I take it in good faith. As you have noticed, I have completely changed the way I dress after your complaints. I am very much a decent lady as far as dressing is concerned. I still remember how you treated me to a romantic dinner because you were so glad. It is challenging though since some displeased “fellas” on campus have begun calling me names; “osofo maame”, holy Mary, “Crife” and many more. I will endeavor not to pay heed to them as I know I have you by my side. After all, I have the right to be different and stand out.

Well, I never expected that you would come to a conclusion in such a short time after our recent argument on proposing marriage to me. You know I am not used to replying your letters by writing. I prefer calling as this is much faster. However, in this particular instance, I wish to write to express the inscriptions on my heart to you. You know how sensitive this issue is to me. I am not asking for any gargantuan marriage proposal, neither am I asking you to stage the marriage proposal like a drama for all to see. All that I am asking from you is that, we do it in our own little way and in our own world. And these are my reasons:

I am highly aware that we entered into this relationship with the understanding that we are going to be together forever. I have not changed my mind on this agreement and I never will. You know why already. Remember, I keep telling you that women are very different from men. God created us equally as humans but we share and see things differently. We sometimes love what you men don’t you love, we see some things pleasing whilst you see otherwise and many binary oppositions in the perspectives of men and women. All in all, it takes two to tango, YOU and Me.

I will not lie to you, watching the Elikem-Pokello proposal ignited in me what I have only been thinking about for a long time now. Every marriage ceremony is witnessed by people; if not few, many. What’s the big deal if a marriage proposal is also witnessed by a few or many people? Won’t that give a little feeling of how the marriage ceremony will be? I am not saying that ours should be like them but come what may, the time will come when we will have to profess our love to each other before God and some people. This recognition will qualify our relationship as marriage. On this basis, being in a relationship and being in marriage operate on different levels. Relationships will set the stage for marriage and once we get there, we are bound by an oath to stay there forever till death do us apart. So yes! We agreed to be together forever but my parents will never allow me into your house until the necessary marriage rites are performed. You know how strict my father is.

As for the response you gave me when I asked when, where and how you would propose marriage to me in a romantic fashion, I have already forgiven you. I still remember your words “When I have acute diarrhea and find myself on a neat water closet,” Well, I want you to know today that I don’t care where, when and how you do it. Even on the water closet, as long as it’s you and me, it will mean a lot to me. After all, you and I are going to share this same water closet when we get married. So you see, there are a lot and different things we will be doing in marriage which our relationship will not permit now. As for the people living like married couples in their relationships, they should not be our focus. You and I are coming from different backgrounds and we share beliefs and values that do not permit us to live like they do. We are Christians and we should go by our principles as such.

Sam, I know you love me, you promised to do anything to make me happy. I remember these words come out loud and clear from your mouth when we visited the Aburi Gardens. “I love you Serwaa and I will do all I can to make you happy”. Do you mean these were just empty words? I am a woman and I take such promises very serious and especially under the circumstances that prompted this statement, I take it as no joke. Marriage will make a huge difference to our relationship. Before we began, you proposed this relationship and as I was eagerly expecting it, I accepted right away. You already know how to “do” PROPOSALS sweetheart.

Let’s just make it official, you will have to put a ring on my finger anyways. For the fact that we will be exchanging rings and vows before our parents, loved ones and friends, it makes no difference if you propose to take us to that level. Do not forget that on that day you will be asked, “Do you Sam take Serwaa to be your lovely wedded wife?” and the same will be asked of me. That sounds just like “will you Sam marry serwaa?” a proposal for which we both must respond in the affirmative. This is a marriage proposal, reaffirming our love by performing these rites. Being the Christians that we are, you know we cannot escape this! Unless we decide to elope and make it look so easy and beautiful like it happens in the Mexican Soap Operas. By the way, I am cutting down on watching these telenovelas after the nightmare I had on Monserat.

My dear Sam, it will be a bit hypocritical if you will go through the ceremony by making the marriage public but find it absurd to make a proposal to this effect. Some things can be understood by women only. My future marriage to you means a lot to me. You proposed a relationship back then, one that is supposed to lead to marriage. We started the journey and we are at a crossroad road where the sign board reads, MARRIAGE. We can’t begin this new journey with the same “elements” and rules we started our relationship with. Though, we have learnt a lot that will help us in our new journey, you can’t deny that the experiences will not be the same. I am only waiting for your proposal on beginning this new journey. It is a much longer and unending journey to the land of forever. We need to brace up even more and get reenergized for this, so what is wrong with having a ceremonious proposal to initiate us into this new journey and level? What will it take from you if we spice things up a bit by doing this?

I understand that you may still insist on your “no marriage proposal” opinion, but some things could only happen once in a lifetime. Whilst, it may not make sense to you as a man, it completely means a lot to me. To me, this crowns this whole relationship we have been building for years. Our lives are not dependent on the marriage proposal than they are on living the marriage itself. You invited me to the Aburi Gardens and oh dear! I still relive the experience in my mind again and again. As women, you already know how good we are at day dreaming and committing events like this to memory. Not all “relationship proposals” lead to marriage, and not all “marriage proposals” lead to marriage and happily ever after. We are not super humans and we could also become victims to a crushed relationship. God forbid anyways! For this reason, it will help a lot if we keep renewing and reminding ourselves of the journey ahead. Proposing marriage is one way of doing this. Don’t forget that some married people even renew their vows sometimes. This should not be our standard, but then again, these are some of the things we do for love.

The reason I asked you where, when and how you will propose marriage was not charging you in any way to do something big like some of the celebrities do. In our own special way, I am only asking we do this to add to our love life. We are building up stories for our future children and grandchildren.  I don’t mind going back to the Aburi Botanical Gardens to do this with you. To me, that place is our “holy” ground where we initiated our love and we could reinitiate ourselves into this new stage called marriage. Sam, I did a lot to make you happy. I even changed how I used to dress to put a smile on your face. It is time for you to do same for me, you promised to do all you could to make me happy.

Your intention was to marry me right before we started this relationship. Proposing marriage is a way of making this intention real. You see, you chose Valentine’s Day to express your love for me. It could have been any other day regardless. The fact that it was a day of love made it extra special. It set the mood for our relationship. A marriage proposal is equally a special event to me and doing it will just add that extra special touch to our love life and set the stage for our marriage. I don’t know why you felt Valentine’s Day was the appropriate date for you to let me know about your feelings nevertheless, I accepted and honored your invitation on this day. Just like you also don’t understand why I want the marriage proposal, give me the benefit of the doubt, do me this honor and accept my invitation to propose. I think it is just fair and don’t forget again, your promise to make me happy.  How can I forget that 14^th February, the date is still circled on my calendar and kept safely in my bag, the very bag you gave to me on my last birthday.

I remember the light of the car incidence on our way to Accra from the Gardens. Of course, our agreement on faith that the light will travel along with us did some good. You know, I pondered over our discussion on faith after you saw me off at my house. I have not known you for that long yet, the faith in my heart said “you could trust this guy”. Even if you won’t propose marriage to me, this same faith in my heart says “one day you will do it again”. This same faith that made me create the vacuum in my heart that you now occupy still hopes for the day of our marriage proposal. I cling to the meaning of faith; the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I dream it and I hope for it; our marriage proposal.

For this same faith, I did not need days to think about starting a relationship with you. Within 3 minutes we were done. You know I am real, sparing 3 minutes again to propose marriage will not be a big deal. Don’t you think we should name our first female child Faith? I am deeply involved in preparing our relationship for marriage and your role is simple, just sound the horn (propose) and lets shoot. Hmm! you and your proverbial way of writing, you remind me so much of my grandfather. I told you about him and how he won many awards for his incredible writing skills.

Just like you said, I also say that, I didn’t come to taste you and decide later. I came for good and it will be absurd to now tell me it is difficult to propose marriage after all we shared in the Gardens. It is not theatrics to me, it is my reality. It may seem trivial to you but it is my major issue and because marriage is such a serious matter like you rightly said, let’s make it look as such by starting with a proposal. This is not to test your romantic vibes or your sense of modernity but to test the faith I have in you. There are two hearts here that beat as one. For the past three years, I have been swallowing most of your bitter pills. This is my first ever pill to you. Why don’t you try swallowing it to see how that feels?

I don’t usually reply your letters. This is my first time of doing so. I am being real with you too, the marriage proposal will gladden my heart. Do this once again for your own Serwaa. By the way, two of my paddies are here. They are curious to know what I am writing. Don’t be surprised to hear of this in town.

                                                                         Your one and only, Serwaa.