The bad news is that marriage is fast losing its respect and sanity in our society. We see conflicts, pain, depression, agony and many breakdowns. It is also known that majority of couples are involved in illicit affairs. Marriage expert Judith Vaughn, in 1989, showed that in 80 percent of marriages in America, either one or both partners had been or was in an illicit affair. Our Maker had a plan and purpose for marriage. Anyone interested in this divine call must leave his parents, join his wife and become one flesh. The three essential ingredients - leave, cleave and one flesh - are absent in most marriages today. We have, instead, turned marriages into hobbies or businesses. We decide where and how to engage or disengage it. Instead of seeking true love, companionship and support, we marry for all kinds of reasons - fame, money, beauty, social recognition, peer pressure and sexual satisfaction. We forget that marriage is a divine institution. We refuse to know our roles and responsibilities. We fail from the start for lack of knowledge. We try to fill in our emptiness with bad habits like infidelity, but we find ourselves getting more hollow. Why are illicit affairs rampant? Marriage experts believe that most people enter into illicit affairs because their emotional needs are not fulfilled. Others believe the urge for illicit affairs is inborn. All human beings have the desire to have it. This desire, in our decaying environment of materialism, promiscuity, profane songs, indecent dressing and economic pressure, makes illicit affairs sometimes appear fashionable. It is also said that any woman may be attracted to a man under certain conditions. It is, therefore, a myth to think an illicit affair can't happen to you. We are all vulnerable. Without precautions, anyone, irrespective of status and religious inclination, could fall, and heavily too. Making your marriage affair-proof We must know our partners very well and their emotional needs. If we can meet our partners' top needs we are likely to avoid illicit affairs. Dr Harley, a marriage expert, lists sexual fulfilment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration as men's top needs. For women, he lists affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitments as top needs. We must find equity time together and openly discuss our work, mistakes, achievements, feelings, values and aspirations. Know what is not working in your marriage and deal with it immediately. Be honest with your partner. Honesty is the bedrock upon which all other aspects of marriage are based. Know your partner's strengths and weaknesses. Make adjustment to accommodate your partner. Make it safe for your partner to tell you his or her faults without criticism. Remember: Anytime you tell a lie you must cover it with another lie till the web devastates every area of your marriage life. If you are anxious to have an affair-proof marriage, be real and show complete honesty and accountability to your time, money and behaviour. Romance your marriage. Do activities you both enjoy doing. Have fun. Send gifts. Speak words of motivation and love. Share all areas of your life and even enjoy the weaknesses of your partner as you combine your talents for enhanced relationship. Marriage psychologists assert that if a husband does for his children what is done traditionally by a wife, it gets her loving greatly. Have fun feeding your baby and preparing your child for school. In the midst of moral decadence in marriage, dare to make your marriage different and better. Make all the sacrifices to make your marriage stand out and be counted as one of the lucky few. There is nothing in life as satisfying as an affair-proof marriage filled with love, romance and strong passion. This is your Maker's call. Go all out for it. Credit: John Boakye [e-mail: jydboakye@yahoo.com]