I was part of a team that did a business audit for an organisation a couple of weeks ago and the people issues was the most interesting part of the whole audit process for me. We engaged this gentleman who told us how passionate he was about his work and how he worked all week and even when he was unwell. He went on to talk about how he does not even see his children often because of the demands of the job.

I asked him what work he did all week and even during his ill-health and all he kept saying was how demanding the job was and how he always had so much to do. He honestly could not itemize what he does by way of work. He kept alluding to how he could do everyone’s work and assisted everyone even though that is not his job. He could not talk specifically about what he does. I understood his TOR and KPIs perfectly and there was nothing so demanding about it, yet he has created this front that makes it look like he is the life-line of the business.

I told him I was not impressed and he wondered how he could be so hard working and passionate about his job and how that did not impress me. I manage a team and working round the clock to the detriment of your own health and family life is not a practice I encourage or will ever encourage so I could never be impressed. Trust me, employers and team leads are looking for driven, passionate, dedicated, committed, innovative, loyal, trustworthy, results oriented, customer centric team members among other valuable qualities to work with. Indeed, behind that rich CV and the experience is the attitude and the soft skills that will propel the business forward. Every team lead will be blessed to have people with the aforementioned qualities to work with but not to exploit them.

He is married with two young children and he touts the fact that he is so passionate about the job that, the only time his children see him are on Sundays when the family goes to church. He complains about the fact that, his relationship with his wife is also strained because the work takes all his time and his complains were all pointing to the fact that the business does not value his work enough and that he had not been promoted in the last six years.

I was very blunt and told him that I was recommending for him to go on leave for two months and that he does not deserve a promotion. I pointed it out to him that he is unable to manage himself and his young family and that he will not do a good job managing other people and their families. All his team members will most likely end up with bad health, broken homes and be perpetually unhappy and blame the business and call it names just as he is doing. He was amazed. This was not what he expected. He was looking for who to cry to and who would fuel his sentiments, which is what most people will do anyways.

I tried to find out how results oriented he has been in the past couple of years and it turns out that he comes to work, barely achieves his targets and just complains and whines. His performance assessments over the past three years have indicated that he is just another employee and not even a star performer. Why has this not been addressed and why is he still here? Why has he been allowed to stick around and keep polluting the team? What actions have they taken to address his poor performance and attitude? The MD bears his cost personally because they do not want him to go out and bad-mouth the business so they just let him stay. I will leave my recommendations out of this article.

I was not surprised, there are many such people in a lot of work environments. They see themselves as the star performers when in actual fact, you are being held on by grace and mercy from the big bosses at the “top”. That is even not the focus of today's Life Lounge… Do not create a work environment and schedule for yourself that threatens your own health and family’s well-being. No way.

This will sound like a cliché but it remains the most factual cliché in any work environment. You are not indispensable to your organisation. You may be the star performer. You may be the pivot around whom the business revolves but remember, that is for as long as you are healthy, alive and fit for the role. Don’t be disillusioned; the business will not suffer or fold up because you either exited by choice or died. This does not presuppose you work on your own terms. Even if you own the business, you must be disciplined. Remember I mentioned in paragraph three some of the qualities beyond the CV and experience that businesses are looking for. You need to be a top performer to deliver and excel on your mandate but this does not have to be at the detriment of your health, life and family life.

Prioritise your health. Manage your time wisely. Give your family their place and make sure that, you create a work and family life balance.

If you do not feel well, see the doctor ASAP. Go on leave when it is due or take it in bits to rest. Do not create a false sense of "I am so busy with work" to bastardise your employers.
Indeed, some work schedules are crazy and demanding, however, these can always be negotiated for breaks to be taken when you have to work genuinely for longer hours. These are certainly not daily practices in most cases. The media landscape for instance can be unpredictable when it comes to work schedules but rests and breaks are always discussed and factored in the schedules. Team leads know the impact of overworking people and burnouts. They are not oblivious to the cost of having overstretched and overworked teams. So have the conversation if what you have been offered is not working well.

Don't break your home and family while building a career. Yes! Sometimes it is difficult pulling it off like a master chef who is combining all his ingredients together to come up with that well-balanced cuisine that his customers will love and that is why he has assistants. Be smart enough to ask for assistance, breaks and support when you need it in order to maintain the balance.

You will be the most miserable person to have chased after career to the detriment of your health, life, home or vice versa. You can have a balance so create it.

Creating a healthy work and family life balance is key to your mental wellbeing, your personal growth, that happy family you crave, your success on the job, your social life and ultimately your relationship with your maker. Don’t leave it to chance. Make it work. Balance It. Cheers!

Edem Knight-Tay is Programmes Director and host of Home Affairs at Joy 99.7 FM.

She is strong-willed, confident, empathetic, results-oriented and a strong advocate for thriving families. She has been married for 19 years with 4 adorable children.

Edem has been a media practitioner for about 2 decades working in various capacities.

She lives by the Biblical principles “love your neighbour as yourself” and “do unto others what you would like them to do unto you.”

Amenuveve!