Over the years, Ghanaians have developed a sixth sense and a third eye. And why not? It is all because of politics. Hasn't the average Ghanaian become more politically savvy? Even my grandmother can analyse the national budget and pronounce it very expedient or plain bogus? Indeed natives of Sikaman have come to realise that they need a third eye to be able to make good political choices, especially in this era of manifestos. Many have also sought the gifts of the Holy Spirit to discern which political manifesto can pass the acid-test of verity and which has an overdose of unattainable effusions. So when they hear a political message, they promptly go down on their knees and raise their arms to pray for revelation, knowledge and the power of discernment. What are manifestos anyway? Simply put, they are documents comprising a mix of attainable and unattainable dreams and visions. But even the much celebrated Communist Manifesto of the Soviet era that crystallised the communist mind into print and made Marx and Engel famous when socialism and capitalism were at each other's throat, has long been forgotten. Basically every political manifesto captures what a party can do for the people. It is couched in the kind of language that easily impresses the reader, to induce him to offer his vote at polling time. Because it is designed to impress and induce, it is often penned to project very lofty visions of the party, half of which are quickly forgotten after the declaration of polling results. Manifestos are written based on needs. In past times, when public latrines were in demand, parties captured them in their manifestos, because the lack of public toilets in certain suburbs of the capital city was simply stressing out civil servants. Because residents had to wake up and queue to offload whatever they had eaten the previous day, civil servants who had to leave for work at 7.30 a.m. were severely inconvenienced. If they could not beat the time because someone in there was constipating, then they had to carry the 'load' to work and that could become dangerous cargo, in case the load in the belly decides to dislodge when the 'trotro' gets into traffic. Of course, the civil servant who faces disgrace while sitting tight in the 'trotro' and cursing his stars for his unrequited condition, will have to decide on the spur of the moment whether to disengage and seek sanctuary at the nearest available place of convenience, or pray for the traffic to miraculously melt away, so that he can soon trot and relieve himself of the dangerous elements. Meanwhile, he is permitted to pass a fair volume of wind so as to relieve the human frame of undeserved discomfort. Normally, the driver's mate will understand this on the common understanding that when he releases his own version of bad air, civil war will not break out in the mini-bus. Some passengers naturally protest when the air is badly fouled and would pose the question: "Who ate rotten eggs last night?" In fact, they want to ask whose alimentary canal is discharging such unholy airs. Other passengers will rest assured that the scent isn't due to any anal indiscretion. Maybe it emanated from the mate's armpits. The mate probably didn't have any descent bath in 72 hours, and the 'air-condition' in the armpit was obviously at full- blast. The long and short of this is that manifestos are based on the needs of the time. If Kumasi Ventilated Improved Pits (KVIPs) featured in past-manifestos, it meant that pit-latrines needed to be dignified by upgrading them to end the woes of civil servants. But not only civil servants. In those days, even lawyers and accountants, journalists who lived in the suburbs joined the early morning queues. When they saw a client, they had to 'dodge small'. They had to make a detour, pretending to go buying newspapers to give time to the client to go and "vote" and pave the way for the advocate to discharge his legal share of the overnight alimentary cargo. Today, manifestos are going to focus on education and agriculture. Education because the literacy rate needs to be raised. Maybe, adult education needs to be taken another look at because people need to be literate to understand what affect their lives. Secondary education and even tertiary education must also be looked at again. Parents are overburdened, bright students are dropping out of school and so what can a nation do to save the situation. Should user fees be abolished for instance? By and large, manifestos should also zero in on agriculture. The most basic human need is food and Ghana must be self-sufficient. We are all lucky that the air we breathe is free. God grants it gratis to both believers and sinners alike. There is no VAT invoice attached to our noses. As for talking, it is now taxable. Free speech on mobile phones goes with a tax invoice, so some people have to wait till 11.00 p.m. to enjoy free night calls. The other day someone called me at 3.00 a.m. obviously to enjoy a free night call and I asked whether the person cared to know I was just in the middle of a very sweet dream. Yes agriculture has come to a head. When people talk about industrialisation without first talking about agriculture, they miss the point. You cannot industrialise on an empty stomach. If workers don't have food to eat, how do they work to capacity in the factories? And without agriculture, how do the factories get some of their basic raw materials? The basic "bread and butter" issues are dear to the hearts of ordinary Ghanaians. The kenkey issues are what the common man wants to see in the manifestos. What the Ghanaian wants to read is the kenkey manifesto; that is easily understood by the rich and the poor, the literate and the non-literate, the Christian and the Moslem. When it comes to matters of the stomach, there is no discrimination. In 1982/83 we all saw it. You had plenty of money in your pocket but where was the kenkey or bread to buy? The green revolution must be on the minds of all parties as they write their manifestos. Credit Merari Alomele [Email: merarix2001@yahoo.co.uk] Source: The Spectator