When romance enters the picture, it can't help but have an impact on a guy's current circle of friends. While some friends may express genuine happiness that their pal is now half of a couple, others may interpret the girlfriend's presence as the beginning of the end to all the great "guys-only" times they've had hanging out together.
Whether your new relationship is just for companionship or could lead to matrimony, it takes very little effort on your part to show your boyfriend's buddies that you value their supportive, ongoing role in his life.
Step 1
Learn something about the lads before you're officially introduced. Pay attention to what your boyfriend tells you about his favorite companions. Ask questions to fill in the blanks. According to Leil Lowndes in "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships," people of any age like it when someone has been intrigued enough to learn about them. Endearing yourself at a first meeting is easy when you can congratulate a guy on getting into Stanford, scoring the winning goal at a recent game or adopting a rescue dog.
Step 2
Practice active listening. If you're constantly looking at your watch, gazing into space or tugging at your boyfriend's sleeve, his friends will think you're either bored or annoyed with them. Smile, nod thoughtfully and comment on whatever they're talking about. As Lowndes emphasizes, making others feel as if they're interesting makes them appreciate you more than if you're always trying to hog the spotlight.
Step 3
Reinforce his friends' positive qualities through smiles and compliments. This is especially critical when the minuses outweigh the pluses. First, separate the person from the problem, and then identify how much the problem is actually hurting your relationship with your boyfriend. According to Roger Fisher and William Ury in "Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In," people often ascribe an excess of negative traits and bad intentions to someone they don't like on the basis of a habit or two that bothers them and could be remedied if gently pointed out.
Step 4
Ask their opinions and advice. Don Gabor's "How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends" and Nicholas Boothman's "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" both recommend ice-breakers such as asking them where they're from, what first ignited their interest in a particular hobby or sport, what's the latest movie they watched or what they think about selected current events. Query their recommendations on the best new cars, which sporting outlets offer great deals or even what they think your sweetheart might like for Christmas.
Step 5
Repeat their names during conversations, and remember important details like birthdays, the names of girlfriends and pets, favorite memories and major milestones coming up. Ask your guy's best friend what his favorite food is and then serve it as a surprise the next time the two of you invite him to dinner.
Step 6
Encourage your beau to spend quality time with his friends. Even though you'd like to share every waking moment with him, his buddies were a significant fixture before your arrival. Spend those hours apart pursuing your own interests and hanging out with the gal pals who probably miss you since you acquired a boyfriend.
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