I typed the name Yvonne Nelson in my Google browser on Wednesday last week and the result I got was this – “About 19,500,000 results (0.46 seconds).” That tells you how many people may have searched for that name since the launch of the book titled, “I am not Yvonne Nelson.”

But who is this lady who is said to have suddenly rekindled the reading habit in the ordinary Ghanaian? Wikipedia says Yvonne Nelson, who was born on November 12, 1985, is a Ghanaian actress, model, film producer and entrepreneur.   

Yvonne Nelson was born in Accra, Ghana. She is of Fante and Ga descent. She started her education at St. Martin De Porres School in Accra^, and later attended Aggrey Memorial Senior High School. She had her tertiary education at Zenith University College and Central University, where she obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Human Resource Management.  She graduated from the Ghana Institute of Management and Public Administration (GIMPA) with a Master's degree in International Relations and Diplomacy in 2020.

She ventured into movie production in 2011. Her first production was The Price, which was released that same year. She also produced Single and Married in 2012 and House of Gold in 2013. The latter movie won Best Picture at the Ghana Movie Awards and Best Ghanaian Movie at the 2013 City People Entertainment Awards.

Impressive, isn’t it? I have admired Yvonne from afar for so long. Besides her fashion model-like beauty, her courage to organize a massive protest against the erratic power supply situation, “Dumsor,” in 2015 made me pay attention to her. I didn’t hear much about her until last week. When I did, I hoped it was not one of those gimmicks employed by stars to draw attention to themselves. That’s because, despite the title, the cover page had the author as Yvonne Nelson.

“I wish I were you”

In the wake of the launch of the book, many social media users have sought to mimic its title in various forms. For instance, Giovani Caleb, a popular radio presenter posted on his Facebook timeline, “I am not Giovani.” I have also seen a flier with a mock-up of a book titled, “I am not Sarkodie.”

The only variation I saw was from a Facebook friend of mine which read, “I AM and will ALWAYS be IVY BOYD (Proud of myself and everything life has thrown my way). That’s the spirit. I thought.

As an author too, the buzz that has been generated by the launch of the book piqued my interest. Since then, I have read bits of the content that have been published by the various online news portals and a PDF document I found online. The gist of these publications, if I am not mistaking, is that Yvonne Nelson says she is not Yvonne Nelson because she does not know her biological father. And this has traumatized her so much over the years. By the way, from the excerpts of the book I have read, if it was written by Yvonne, then she writes so well, like I do. Haha!

My appetite to read the book was therefore whet. My search led me to this, “An electrifying and captivating narrative unfolds in 'I Am Not Yvonne Nelson,' chronicling the journey of a young woman seeking self-discovery, only to unveil a startling revelation that her identity has been a counterfeit all along. The captivating tale unfolds with gripping drama and unexpected plot twists, resembling a mesmerizing screenplay. However, the main character, an actor, grapples with a heartbreaking reality that often fills her nights with tears.”- Wikipedia.

This got me asking, “heartbreaking reality that often fills her nights with tears” due to the fact that she has never met her daddy? That explains the choice of date for the launch, Sunday, Father’s Day, 18^th June, 2023.

Well, I cannot help but conclude that Yvonne or Wye, as I call all my friends named Yvonne, is flouting an age-old taboo in various Ghanaian traditional communities. This taboo is best expressed in the Akan language, “me nya wo ay3 y3 musuo.” In Ga, we say “nna bo nfee l3 musu ni”- it is a taboo to wish you were someone else. Yes. By saying “I am not Yvonne Nelson”, Wye is telling all of us that she wished she was like those of us who knew or know our fathers.

At this juncture I wish to state that in recognition of the clarion call on social media that we should not judge her, I do not intend to. Instead, I wish to address her as the younger sister that she is to me.

My dear Wye, if only you knew the number of people who knew/know their fathers but are wallowing in abject misery and poverty, you would not have considered this plight of yours as an issue worth documenting in a memoir to the extent of denigrating your mum.

As I pointed out in my previous article titled “The dads my father left me with”, a caring father is a wonderful thing that every child must have. But my opinion is that the absence of your father in your life, difficult as it may be, should not make you feel so worthless. Especially so, when your mother has been able, single handedly, to guide you through those 37 years, to achieve all the enviable feats alluded to above. I used the word guide because your mum may not have encouraged you into acting, which has brought you thus far.

But the kind of guidance, from a single mother, that can result in such achievements cannot be rewarded with shame. Yes, shame is what your mum has suffered as a result of the revelations in your book. Indeed, you have just transferred “heartbreaking reality that often fills her nights with tears” to your mum. And for this I am pained. Indeed, by this action, you have breached one of the ten Commandments in Exodus 20, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

The circumstances of your birth

It is obvious from what I have read so far about your mum’s refusal to name your father, that all was not well with your conception and birth.

You wrote, “When my mother was angry with me and really wanted to hurt me, she would tell me she had given birth to me by mistake. Whenever she said it, she knew how I felt. She knew she was driving a sharp nail into my heart. I could feel she really wanted to hurt me. Maybe she was just being truthful. By so doing, however, she wounded my spirit, and that unhealable wound served as a constant reminder that all was not well with me. She made me feel terrible about my existence.

I cannot imagine ever getting angry with my daughter and telling her that. And I do not think any child, for whatever reason, deserves such psychological torture. But those words and the story that gave credence to their power constantly reminded me that I was neither wanted nor appreciated…My mother’s behaviour has erased almost every positive feeling I had for her from my mind. Anytime I want to attach emotions to her, I get blocked by her refusal to tell me who my father is.”

To help you understand the possible reason why your mum may be hiding your father’s identity from you, that is if she knows, have you thought about the possibility of your mum having been raped by a madman, an armed robber or the area drunkard?

If any of the aforementioned individuals was responsible for getting your mum pregnant, have you thought about the possibility that she has decided to let the trauma that she went through be in the past where it belongs, hence her dodgy behaviour? Or would you rather know the truth, no matter how horrible? I dare say, that if it were a mere case of a man denying responsibility of a pregnancy, your mother may have gotten over it by now and pointed you to the man who made her pregnant. Under the circumstances, I can state without equivocation that the mention of your father’s name brings her emotional pain. As such, your persistence to know him irritates her so much.

Why you got to know that “I was a symbol of regret for the woman who brought me here” as you recounted in the book, yet persisted in pestering her for your real father’s name is what beats my imagination.

Wye, instead of berating your mum the way you have done, you should appreciate her for making you live.  I say so because but for the love she had for you, her ‘dislike’ for your father could have made her easily pursue the option you and Sarkodie opted for- Abortion, no matter the initial setback she experienced when the doctor decided not to proceed at the last minute. She could have drank one of those concoctions that are touted as capable of getting rid of the most stubborn fetus.

Alternatively, she could have, after giving birth to you, dumped you either at a refuse dump, in front of an orphanage or at the gate of a rich family, as you producers project in your movies. That, definitely, would have been double agony.  Won’t you say? No biological mother or father. Despite all these options, she chose to give birth, raise and nurture you into a beautiful, knowledgeable and useful Ghanaian citizen. Yet you reward her this way?

“Someone wishes to be like you”

Other words of traditional wisdom that our forebears have used to guide those of us who care, is that we should always remember that, “someone wishes to be like you.”

Award winning highlife musician, Martin King Arthur, alias Kofi Kinaata underscored the logic in this sage in his song titled “Susuka”- beware of complaints.  For me, two lines in the mostly Fante lyrics say it all.

First, because I live very far away from Accra central where I work, this one comforts me so much;

“If you think your residence is far, remember someone’s house is behind yours.”

Second: “Yeah, your mates are making money
Building mansions, your mates are getting married
one of them is mad, another is dead.”

So, Wye look on the streets of Accra. You will find many young women, some as beautiful as you are, even more curvy, who know their fathers, yet they carry wares worth a paltry GHC200.00 on the scorching sun and chilly rainy weather touting to scarce buyers. Out there, you will also find children pushing their fathers on wheel chairs or holding their white canes to lead them in begging for alms.

I had a colleague whose biological father, who he knew, did not care a hoot about him. This bothered him a lot as he struggled through life to obtain a diploma certificate. Currently he has given up any desire to further his education and started growing his nuclear family with the little income he earns. There is also a relative of mine who knew her father. It was all smooth sailing until her dad lost his job. Things got worse and now she is a pale shadow of her former self.

The point I am making is that it is good for one to know his or her biological father. However, knowing him does not guarantee the kind of success your mum has guided you to achieve. Ever heard of the saying that all the fingers are not equal? Why have you allowed your quest to know your father ruin your mother’s love for you, Yvonne?

It’s time to go

As you indicated in the book, your name means “yew”- renowned for their strength and being one of the longest-living trees in the world. Another source says it is a Hebrew name which means “Gift or Grace of God.” Although your mum did not tell you, it is apparent that the peculiar circumstance of your birth may have led her to choose your name, based on the Hebrew interpretation- Gift of God.

But it is also obvious that you have strength. Strong enough to organize a demonstration against a sitting government over erratic power supply. And you put it aptly, “It is the resilience of a yew that kept me going when I failed and felt useless to my family and to some friends who did not hide their disdain for the failure I had become.” So, why allow the absence of your father in your life to kill your mother’s soul? Have you stopped to think, that your father, if he is the kind you fantasize about, would have come out to claim you the moment you hit the limelight?

As the lawyers would say, in the eyes of every right-thinking Ghanaian, you have brought your mum’s name into great disrepute. Actually, you have defamed her to the over seven billion people in the world via the internet. Now some are saying that she is unable to tell you about your dad because she was dating multiple partners- promiscuous. Others have stopped short of calling her a prostitute. Why?  Just pray that she does not place a curse on you.

To avert this, I advise that you look for some elderly persons to lead you to her and plead for forgiveness. I have no doubt that because of the love she has for you, mummy will forgive you. And the two of you will live happily ever after.

When this happens, I will expect a tweet from you that reads, “I AM Yvonne NELSON (Proud of myself and everything life has thrown my way).”

I hope you don’t feel judged, because that’s not my intention.

Shalom - That’s good bye in Hebrew.

Let God Lead! Follow Him directly, not through any human.

The writer is the author of two books whose contents share knowledge on how anyone desirous of writing like him can do so. Eric can be reached via email ericayettey@yahoo.co.uk.