Ever hear that men think about sex every 7 seconds? Not true. On average, men think about sex nearly 19 times per day and women nearly 10, reports a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research.
In the study, 163 college students used a tally counter to record any time they thought about sex during one week.
“Although the mere presence of a tally counter may have affected how many times the students thought about sex, it’s really an efficient way considering we cannot literally read people’s minds,” says Terri Fisher, lead study author and professor of psychology at Ohio State University’s Mansfield campus.
“To think that so many people believed the claim ‘men think about sex every 7 seconds’ is insane, so we wanted to debunk that stereotype,” says Fisher.
After looking at the data and comparing men’s sexual thoughts against women’s, the results came back showing almost a 2 to 1 ratio.
But this isn’t the first study to monitor men’s thoughts on doing the dirty. Another recent study confirms that men and women aren’t drastically different when it comes to sex. Researchers had 182 college students view images of both pornographic and romantic scenes, then quickly decide if the image was “pleasant” or “unpleasant.”
The results: Although women were quicker to pair romance with pleasure, both men and women chose to associate the word “pleasant” with romance rather than the sexual imagery.
“The results definitely surprised us,” says Ashley Thompson, author of the paper, which was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. “It really goes against the stereotype that men only think about sex, while women are purely focused on romance.”
Gender roles are clearly converging, says Thompson. The results indicate that it’s okay for men to like romance, just as it’s equally okay for women to express themselves sexually.
So if all this research suggests both men and women have sex on the brain, why does it still seem like men crave it more? Simple—women require a bit more TLC. “Even if she’s interested in having sex, women cannot just flip a switch and be instantly turned on,” says Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
So how exactly can you unleash her wild side? We’ve got you covered.
Awaken Her Senses
You have to set the mood. Consider it your pre-sex routine,” says Dr. Landa. And the best way to unleash her inner sex-goddess is by helping her relax. So what’s your move? “Ignite her senses,” explains Dr. Landa. “Whether it’s auditory, visual, tactile, or kinesthetic—the focus should be taking her mind off her workday.” A great place to start is a sensual massage because the one-on-one contact can help heighten her sexual arousal, says Dr. Landa. Follow this step-by-step guide to giving her a great foot rub.
Share Your Fantasies
If you really want her to show you her sexual side, you may have to reveal yours first to help bring her out of her shell, explains Dr. Landa. “A great way to do this is trying role play,” she says. Pick a specific night to act out your fantasies. “Explain to her how sexy you think she is and tell her what turns you on,” says Dr. Landa. A key thing to keep in mind: Women do not want to be judged for acting out their inhibitions. So if you go first, this opens up the door for her to explore her wild side and share her desires, says Dr. Landa.
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