A couple of weeks ago, we woke up to disturbing news on social media about the son of Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams, founder and General Overseer of Action Chapel International.

He had published obscene pictures and videos of himself which otherwise should not have been in the public domain. Indeed, he went further to make commentaries about his father that were sad to hear. The family came out to explain that his behaviour was inspired by his ill health called bipolar disorder. The Dad said it's a test of his faith.

Whereas many people found it a good soil to plant comment and point fingers at his father and his family, I feel we must take some few lessons to guard our own steps in life as people who have families, parents and leaders we look up to.

#1. Everyone Has Issues

Daniel Duncan-Williams is not the only one on earth with a medical condition that has led him to do something unfortunate. There are many people in our families, companies and churches who are suffering from one medical issue or the other. The only reason why this is in the public domain and being discussed at length is because of his father and the family.

Many times we tend to overlook our own issues and discuss other people as if we have no issues at all. Biblical David, a man who could write amazing songs, kill Goliath, and was considered a man after God’s own heart and a preacher who wrote about things yet to come, had one of his son’s raping another daughter. His son Absalom revolted against him that caused him to leave Jerusalem to seek asylum elsewhere. Paul the apostle, who could pray for dead people to be alive, had a thorn in his flesh. Elijah, a man who prayed for fire to come down and prayed for drought and rain could not stand Jezebel. Really, if you consider that we are all human beings with issues to deal with, you will not attack other people when they are facing their own issues. If you have this simple thought in your mind that everyone has an issue, it will shape the way you respond to other people’s issues.

#2. Every Parenting Has Issues

I am yet to start my work of being a parent but I have observed that every family has issues. No one has it all together. Either some children will be good academically and others not at all. Others will go wayward. Some people take to bad habits that take hold of them and destroy them. In the case of Daniel, it is his illness causing him to do some unfortunate things.

I heard someone say that if your child has not gone to school, finished and married and even end up in heaven, don't blame others that they are not doing a good work with parenting. For people to say that Archbishop did not do his work well as a parent is very sad to say. Granted he even missed something, does it mean that all bad children are from bad parents? No! I have seen children who were offered everything under the sun and trained very well but went bad. I have also seen others who had bad parenting but ended up good. Sometimes we cannot explain how things end up. We cannot control everything. Parents do their best under the circumstances. Parents mean well. Like the Archbishop, we must love our Daniels no matter what happens. Can you love your child even if they messed up big time? When the prodigal son came home, his father embraced him and loved him even though he messed up. Archbishop says that he still loves Daniel. May we love those who mess up!

#3. Everyone Deserves Mercy

My last lesson is that we must learn to be merciful to people who are hurting. Very troubling that people can say some things to put more sand on salt. You have clearly seen a man in trouble and distress and you compound it by saying that if he prayed for the cedi, why can't he pray for his son to be well. Really, if you will not sympathize with a man, why beat him more? The Bible says in Proverbs 24:17-18 says that “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles; Lest the Lord see it, and it displease Him, And He turn away His wrath from him.” Food for thought!

This is my foremost lesson in this case. I have learned to ask myself: how will I feel if I were Archbishop? When biblical Job was in serious trouble caused by no fault of his, his friends came to join him but they didn't help at all. What they did was spew out philosophical insinuations about how man is supposed to live before God and that Job had sinned. We can really miss the point when we don’t sympathise with people in our words and deeds.

It is my hope that we will take these three lessons at heart and probably apply to all issues concerning people in the public eye and even those we know. If Archbishop and his family did not deserve to be treated as if the illness and the consequent publications by his son were the bad parenting of his father, then no one must be treated as such. Guess what, we all have issues, every parenting has issues and lastly we must be merciful to people who are hurting. Let’s show love to people who are hurting!

The writer blogs daily at www.erickotchere.blogspot.com. You can reach him via mail otchereeric@gmail.com.