One of the reasons I like dogs is that they choose to have sex in the public and makes sure everyone sees the act to avoid any future speculations.

Did you know that a spouse who encourages you to be taking loans is actually imprisoning you indirectly? A word to the wise…is in the spouse. But a spouse that encourages savings and life insurance is to be celebrated. Ahaaan, see…a lady friend recently shocked me to the bone when I called to wish her a happy birthday. She said she was at the mall with a male friend. I was a bit curious and personally had a problem with it because she is someone with very high morals since I got to know her in 1989 as a school mate. She is the type I could stand by when it comes to matters of morality especially – very pure. When I expressed my disappointment at her being with another guy drinking fruit juice, she explained that she values birthdays a lot and that the husband is the direct opposite. So she took a day off from work to celebrate her birthday last Monday and as usual didn’t even bother to tell her husband about her plans for the day because she was used to his lack of interest in birthday things. So she needed to fill in the gap and the opportunity presented itself when that male friend called to wish her a happy birthday too. So jokingly she took the opportunity to ask him to take her out because she was feeling bored on her birthday so they met at the mall to drink fruit juice.

Well, this sounds like one of those things western culture convinces us to do and think there is nothing wrong with it and when it affects our marriages, we blame African witches. I personally don’t think I would be happy to learn that my wife has gone to drink fruit juice with another male friend even if it’s just fruit juice and nothing but fruit juice. Please don’t insult me in your head for my opinion o. If another guy has to fill in the gap with fruit juice because a husband is not interested in birthday things, then any other ‘gap’ could be filled o; let’s not under-estimate the power of some ‘fruit juices’.

Some husbands, you too you are too something when it comes to your wife’s birthdays. Do the needful before someone fills in the gap o. You like that thing too much! Wives’ birthdays, you don’t mind. What is that! Looks like I am also talking to myself o. Hahaaaaa! But those who fill in the gaps too, do they have the fear of God in them? Habaa! It’s just a question o, yooo!  

Did you know that when the class of your Drivers Licence is B, you can only drive only saloon cars? Don’t go and be driving articulated trucks o? Everything has its capacity limits in terms of competence. It just reminds me of a recent appointment. She was the one who said she needed me on Saturday o. So I prepared my mind, my heart, my eyi and even drunk some concoctions to eyi for the distin. I even went ahead to pay for the ‘space’ and waited there. I waited for more than 3 and half hours and she wouldn’t pick her calls too. Later she returned the call without any sense of remorse too. She was like, after all, she was somewhere eating cream and she didn’t mean we should go to hotel but she meant we should meet at QFC and chat! Really? Next time. Well, I don’t blame her. I blame myself for making her feel more important than me.

So when you are going for your driver’s licence which is on a card, ask if it is a Card B or Card C. Mine is Card D! It means I can drive goods-carrying-vehicles, buses and coaches. Open your eyes o, yooo!

That my pastor I told you about has started growing lean and still in self-denial even though the symptoms are so clear. You remember I had met him at a movie house before coming to ‘watch Jesus film’ with a lady, when we bumped into each other whiles I was also with a lady and I said to him ‘Sofo, praise the Lord’. He didn’t even mind me.

The thing is real and if 80% of cases are from Christians, it’s only a reflection that 80% of Christians are living recklessly in this ‘department’ deceiving ourselves that they are holy though not the entire 80% may be due to sexual immorality! The Uncle-Retroviral Drugs are under pressure and the rate of infections keep going up o, people.

That’s why I like exercising and just bought a treadmill to help me in exercising. The thing is good o but now I fear the mill.

You see after acquiring it, I was taught how to increase the speed but I was so carried away I did not ask the seller how to stop it. Alla! I had to scream for people around to come to my aid. Unfortunately one highly educated man who claimed he knows how to operate treadmills instead of coming to stop the machine rather increased the speed till and my heart started pounding beyond the limit. It was a good Samaritan who had never been to school who suggested that someone should put the main electricity power source off.

It’s about time we started having driver’s licences for treadmills o, or? Because the thing is like a car and one must be competent in its usage.

Ahaaan! Those who have purchased new used cars and still using DV plates awaiting January 1, 2020 before registering have a bad mind. You bought the car in July 2019 and driving it with the DV plate till now so that in 2020 when you register it, it appears new so that after 5 years when you intend selling the car out, the year of registration becomes your bargaining power meanwhile you have taken the flavour out of it aaaaaa from July 2019 to January 2020 thus weakening the muscles of the car. God dey o! If I were a policeman and I see any car with a DV plate...I will ‘enjoy’ oo especially around this festive season. Hahaaaa!

I want to suggest something. For the benefit of the innocent unknown third prospective buyer some years to come, anyone who wants to register a car in January 2020 should be made to pay three times the cost of the registration of what he would have paid in December 2019. Finish!

Why use the car rough rough with girls in it with a DV plate and register it in January 2020 having an idea of it looking new when you have succeeded in weakening the under things? It’s not a good mentality o. Me, if I buy a car today, December 13, 2019, I will register it 2019. It does not change anything. It only makes you feel unnecessarily gbesh. A word to the police is on the road o….hahahahaha! If DV car owners are planning to exploit the future buyers of their cars because it’s 2020, and are still using DV plated cars as of now, then I have ‘spoke’. Stop them on the road and let’s see what happens from there. Na smile you go smile oo, hahahahahaha!

I also think that the DVLA should register all DV cars acquired in 2019 whose owners have intentions of registering them in January should still give them 2019 numbers in January. Even with this, some people will still wait till February. Ei. Human beings! Ooooh d3bida!

But on a more serious note when you are buying insurance for your newly registered vehicles, don’t be cowed into thinking there are cheap premiums out there and so you want to just satisfy the police o. There are fake guys and girls in the system parading themselves as insurance agents. The moment the premium is extremely low, be suspicious and call the insurance company whose name is on the sticker. They can confirm whether it is genuine or otherwise.

Have a Merry Christmas since I am likely to be in America next week and may not be able to write any ‘useless’ thing for next week. Please don’t tell my village people this secret o; they can withdraw my visa through Ayigbe wifi and I will get to Kotoka Airport and then they return me; I know them! Hahaaa!