Statistically, most children are not “gifted.” While they are always exceptional to us, they’re probably not exceptional to the point of being gifted. If you feel your child is well beyond advanced, however, don't ignore it. If she's truly gifted, your child will require extra attention and academic effort as she grows. Read on for signs that your child may be gifted and, more importantly, how to handle it. We first met our daughter in Ethiopia when she was 7 months old. Weighing just 12 pounds, she'd spent the previous six months in an orphanage. Unfortunately, orphanages provide less than optimum circumstances for a child's development. Having already adopted internationally, we didn't expect her to be on track. Children in orphanages typically experience developmental delays ranging from minor but noticeable to significant -- most of which can be overcome with time and effort. She was a tiny little thing and didn't have enough muscle in her legs to support her weight; she could barely sit up on her own. She seemed so little and young. She was young! So imagine my surprise when, after having been home for about six weeks, she pointed to our dog and said, clear as a bell, "Gidget!" The first time I heard it, I was certain that sleep deprivation was actually causing me to hear the baby call the dog by name. The second time, I was sure it was just a fluke and that there was no way our child, who until six weeks before had never been spoken to in English, was deliberately saying our dog's name as her first word. As it turns out, it wasn't a fluke, nor were the "please" and "thank you" -- always used appropriately – that quickly followed. By 12 months old, she knew too many words to track and could count to 10. By 18 months old, she had a vocabulary that included words for just about everything. She spoke in full sentences, knew her colors and had developed a sense of humor. We never worked with her. She picked everything up from overhearing conversations or her brother's favorite television programs. She turns 2 in a few days, and she speaks in complex sentences -- some 15 or more words long, most grammatically correct. She is witty, sassy, hilarious as heck, and too smart for my own good. Her logic is so impressive that sometimes even I have trouble arguing with it, law school education and all. Today, I ended up speechless during a little debate over whether she would take a bath before or after dinner: She answered my "Why before dinner?" question with, "Because I said so, Mommy." Now, how do I respond to that? Recently, my husband and I finally accepted it: She's gifted. Because she's not quite 2, we don't know exactly in what ways she is gifted; therefore, we don't know what her unique educational needs will be. One thing's for sure, though: We'll have to do a lot of extra work to keep up with her. And we're a little worried that, no matter how hard we try, "keeping up" might be a lofty goal. Brilliant… or brilliant because she's yours? Most parents are certain their children are geniuses at some point. I know I am. My son, who was our first, is quite smart. His intelligence, combined with my mommy pride, causes me to exclaim, "He is sooo smart!" more than a few times a week. I might even call him a genius on occasion. Statistically, however, very few children are truly "gifted." Dr. Christopher Willard, a developmental psychologist at Tufts University and in private practice, says that such children score in the top 2 percent, with IQs above 130. "Highly gifted" children have IQs above 145 and are in the top 1/10 of 1 percent of children, so it's highly unlikely that the vast majority of us have gifted children. What makes a child gifted? Willard (no relation to the author of this article) says that a child can be gifted in various areas. He explains that we often think of a "child prodigy" as being gifted in particular subjects, such as math, music or athletics, but in fact, children can be intellectually gifted in many ways -- verbally, mathematically, conceptually, visually, athletically, musically, even socially or emotionally. Signs your young child may be gifted So your 6-month-old babbles something that sounds like "Mom." Is she the next rocket scientist? All of us moms have that thought at least once during our child's early years. The short answer: probably not. If you notice that your child seems advanced well beyond her chronological age, however, Willard suggests considering the following: In an older infant/young toddler: * At what age did she acquire language and concepts such as colors? * Does she display extremely advanced skills in areas such as sorting and categorizing toys? * Does she have a broad vocabulary? * What is the quality of her grammar? * Does she have an unusually early understanding of cause and effect and other more grownup concepts such as humor? * Does she show a desire to learn more and practice tasks such as puzzles until she masters them? * Does she show a preference for interacting with older, more advanced children or even adults? In a toddler or preschooler, Willard recommends considering whether your child has strong interests and particular intellectual pursuits. He adds, "Precociousness that a child displays -- not just in terms of knowledge, but the quality of the questions she asks -- is something to consider." Think about the quality of the associations and connections she is able to make, her ability to take various perspectives and show flexibility of thinking and reasoning. Now that you know, what do you do? Unlike the stereotypical "proud parents," my husband and I weren't exactly bouncing off the walls with excitement over our daughter's apparent giftedness when we finally accepted it. In fact, we realized that we are out of our element. It's amazing to watch her little -- or not so little, depending on how you look at it -- brain work and even more amazing to hear her speak and share her thoughts. At the same time, the idea of meeting her educational and intellectual needs is a lot to digest. We both have advanced degrees and are smart people, but we're often left scratching our heads. We had so many questions: Do we begin academic work on our own before preschool? Do we enroll her in special programs in kindergarten? Willard says that how you approach this remains controversial and depends a lot on your family's values and resources. As far as beginning work early, Willard advises, "Working with kids before preschool is generally something to be cautious about unless you are working closely with experts in learning, or collaborating with your child's school or preschool on what enrichment activities make sense." He explains that horizontal enrichment -- enriching with depth of a subject and varying perspectives and understandings -- is superior to vertical enrichment, which is simply moving on to the next subject. Willard also suggests that, regardless of whether you advance your child academically, you should consider keeping her involved with children her age in social activities such as music, sports and arts. He feels that a balance of both social and intellectual peers is important. Furthermore, and of utmost importance, Willard reminds parents, "Be careful about your own hopes and expectations for your child. Don't put any more pressure on him because of his gifts, but do offer opportunities to engage and enrich his learning." Equally important, he notes that, if you have other children who are not technically gifted, you must acknowledge and celebrate their intelligence and strengths, as well. Giftedness and formal education Obviously, if your child is gifted, she's going to be far more advanced than her same-age peers in school in at least one subject. How do you approach your child's education, particularly in the public school system? Susan Goodkin, author, lecturer and executive director of the California Learning Strategies Center, which advises parents of gifted students, is also the mother of two gifted children. She emphasizes that parents of gifted children can't just send their children off to school and assume that they'll be challenged enough. Instead, Goodkin says that parents need to take an active role in overseeing their child's education. If your child is bored in the classroom, Goodkin suggests asking your child's teacher if you can send her to school with additional work for her to complete during task time -- for example, when everyone is working on math worksheets. If necessary, go so far as to offer to grade the work yourself. Keep in mind that, with budget cuts and growing classroom sizes, additional work can be burdensome to your child's teacher. She may be unwilling to accommodate your requests, but if you're able to take some of the responsibility, Goodkin says teachers are more willing to be flexible. Additionally, Goodkin says that acceleration -- moving your child up a grade or two -- works very well when done for certain subjects. For example, your child would remain in her second-grade class, but join the fourth grade class for math if that's an area in which she is very advanced. Outside of school, Goodkin says that additional activities such as math circles can provide your child with extra educational stimulation. Several online resources have truly enhanced gifted children's learning experiences, too. In the past, parents had to either teach their children themselves or hire a tutor, but advances in online supplemental education allow you to make progress in challenging your child. Finally, Goodkin recommends that you join a support group for parents of gifted children, in which you'll be able to relate and learn from other parents' triumphs and struggles as well as share ideas. The (little) challenges Giftedness doesn't always limit itself to a crazy big vocabulary and a mastery of the ABCs. When my daughter was about 20 months old, she and her brother were each lobbying for their favorite programs. I decided we would watch Wonder Pets first and her selection, Yo Gaba Gaba, second. She announced (or maybe it was yelled), "I am NOT watching this. I'm going to my room!" She then stormed down the hallway, slammed her door, and would not come out for more than 20 minutes. All I could think was, "If this is 20 months, what's 12 going to be like? Or, even worse, 16?" For the record, she's a great, well behaved child, but her version of a 2-year-old temper tantrum isn't exactly standard. I have a feeling this is what Willard meant when he said, "Get ready for a potential roller coaster." While I have no idea how the teen years are going to look, I'm reminded by both Goodkin and Willard to treat giftedness as an additional need, to advocate for her at school, and to make sure she's academically stimulated. One very practical piece of advice from Willard sticks with me: "Remember to praise children not just for their smarts but for their hard work. Gifted children who become successful adults are those who are both smart and hard workers, and have good social skills. Don't skimp on any of these." Source: sheknows.com