The first time you do it after childbirth will be scarier than the first time ever
If you had a complication-free delivery, your doctor gives you the green-light to get busy again around six weeks of post-partum. And even though you are very much clearly not a virgin – the baby next to you being solid evidence- you may find yourself approaching new mama sex on trembling legs. After all an entire person recently came out of there, and even though it was totally worth it, of course the extraction process may not have been particularly delightful. Although in time, you will associate your nether regions with pleasure again, its normal to feel a certain amount of panic after the trauma of delivery.
Sex may well rank behind "buy new air filters" on your to-do list
First there's that little matter of keeping another person alive 24/7, which can be pretty demanding. Then there are dozens of breastpump parts to sterilize, hundreds of thank-you notes to write, ever-growing microscopic fingernails to clip, a library of parenting books to read and towering stacks of tiny onesies to wash. If you get all of that done in a day's time (and good luck with that between the endless parade of feedings and diapers changing), the thing you are most likely to yearn for is a nap, not a nookie.
Or you might feel like the sexiest, most powerful, creator of life that ever rocked a nursing carni
You made a person, right inside of your own body. Your boobs are ginormous. Your hair is probably still thicker and shinier than it has ever been in your life. You survived the marathon of delivery. You can walk up the stairs without getting winded and you can enjoy a nice glass of wine again. This combination of circumstances has been known to turn some women into lust-driven hussies. If you can harness this feeling and get someone to watch the kid for an hour – watch out daddy.
Nursing is Not (we repeat: Not)a Substitute for birth control
This is one little news flash you shouldn't miss. Yes, women who breastfeed may go for months without a period, but you can still ovulate when you're nursing - especially if you are supplementing breast milk with anything else at all, even a couple of ounces of formula a day. The possibility of ovulation translates into the possibility that you could get knocked up again. Now. While you already have a tiny little infant. If the idea of Irish Twins titillates you by all means throw caution – and that box of Trojans – to the wind. Otherwise protect yourself.
He’ll mean it when he says our post-parturn body is a major
turn-on, but you probably won't believe him
"Look at this!" you'll demand, rolling down the band of your sweatpants and grabbing handfuls of stretched-out stomach skin. "Have you ever seen anything so squishy?" (Why do women do this? Why?) But hell still want you. Trust us when we tell you that he's not nearly as critical of your body as you are. In fact, he never was. You are the magical, powerful mother of his child, for crying out loud - not to mention the only woman he’s allowed to get jiggy with. If he thinks there’s even a remote chance he might get lucky, the one and only thought bubble over his head reads thusly: ‘A naked woman in my bed! And I get to have sex with her! Yes, turn off the light if you must, but get over yourself and get busy already.
You might have to fake it until you make it (enthusiasm, that is, not Your Orgasm)
Many guys can get the urge - and an erection - from a hearty gust of wind. Women need a little more coaxing, especially in the throes of new motherhood and all of its overwhelming responsibilities. Agree to some nice cuddling and smooching and (as long as the baby doesn't interrupt) you might find those familiar frisky feelings beginning to bubble to the surface.
The tiniest whimper can totally kill the mood
You were raring to go and now you're really getting into it. And then the baby starts to fuss. No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to block it out, even if you know baby will be just fine waiting 10 minutes. Your maternal instincts are some of the most powerful on the planet, so don't even try to fight them. Go get the baby and try again next time.
Your partner’s advances might infuriate you
"Really? You're feeling frisky, are you? Well I'm feeling very much like I was violently attacked by a very large, angry mob of bears. In case you’ve forgotten, I have stitches in and around my most tender of orifices, I'm leaking all over and I haven't had a good night's sleep in five and a half months. Would you like to remind me again how your life has changed since we decided to have a baby?" If you're impossibly strong, you will keep these words inside your head and thwart his gropes with a gentle “Soon honey Soon”. After all, you can’t blame the guy for trying.
You will be a MILF -- Just maybe not right away
You can't pick up People magazine without being bombarded with photos of some bikini-clad supermodel frolicking on a beach with her newborn baby and doting baby-daddy Oh look, there's the hunky sperm-donor now, swatting at her perfect bum with a towel while she giggles prettily and splashes through the surf, pretending to run away. Please. In real life, she's in a spit-up stained bathrobe and bunny slippers, and the only splashing action he's getting is coming from the washing machine that’s on the fritz again. Yes, you will giggle and frolic and act like fire again. But don’t expect the mere act of reproducing to turn your life into a page out of Hollywood-style Yummy Mummy spread.
Your partner may suddenly lose interest in sex
More often than not, a guy will be more turned on than ever by the woman who bore his child, but a few men may be freaked out by the thought of doing it with "someone's mother." (And as harrowing as that delivery room scene may have been for you, don't forget he more than likely had a front row seat.) But don't worry: This is not permanent. With some gentle enticing (okay, and some slinky lingerie and possibly a cocktail or two) he'll be able to cast you in the sexy partner role again. In the meantime, belly up to the no-strings-attached-cuddle-bar and indulge!
Your milk-makers won’t be participating in the action for a while
In fact, he might get punched in the esophagus if he tries to touch them. This might be Mother Nature's cruelest joke: She loans you these amazing curves and then plasters them with "wet paint" signs (since babies can't read, they're free to grope with abandon). Even if you'd like to share your massive mammaries with your mate, for the first few months, they’II probably be tender and leaky and not exactly erotic orbs of pleasure. Before long, they'll be yours again, in the meantime, take a moment to appreciate your body’s amazing ability to give your baby everything he needs to survive.
If you have a vaginal birth, you'll worry about the state (and shape) of things down there
After all, you only have to eyeball your newborn's head -- and recall how it carne into this world - to presume she did some irreparable damage to your most intimate of body parts on her way out. The reassuring truth is, your vagina was designed to push babies out and then quickly spring back into shape. (If only our abs were so accommodating!) Some women admit that their lady caves feel a little loser for a few weeks or months after delivery; others insist the thing feels nearly vaginal again. One thing’s for sure: Scores of veteran baby-makers (and their partners) swear the best; most orgasmic sex of their lives came after birth – so clearly your shag-goodness days aren’t all behind you.
Lube will be your new best friend
When it comes to feeling your sexy, turned-on best, post-partum hormones (especially if you're breastfeeding) aren't doing you any favors. In particular, low levels of estrogen can cause vaginal tissue to become especially dry. Know that extreme down-there dryness is natural and normal and most definitely not a sign that you are frigid or can no longer get turned on. The best way to deal? Invest in a great water-based lube and get on with your (sex) life. Your hormones eventually will settle down and everything will return to normal
You'll do it with the baby in the room (even if your pre-baby self would have considered such behavior a felony offense)
Look, as cute as they can be, babies are helpless, defenseless blobs that many moms would rather not let out of their sight. And in fact, many moms keep baby in their rooms for the first few months, which means you'll have to do the deed with baby nearby (unless you're up for some more, er, adventurous settings). So while princess snoozes in her bassinette, why not make the most of it? She won’t see or hear you. Its Ok! Really.
You'll realize that dads are hot
Who would have thought that the sight of a tiny person nestled on the chest of a burly man (as he undoubtedly watches sports) could make you weak with lust? And don't even get us started on the sight of him pushing a stroller. Never will your guy look as big, strong, manly or adoring as when you first bring your baby home. You made a new person together. You're a family now. For women - who usually crave an emotional connection before they have sex - the baby-bond can be the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Source: ivillage.com
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