In an ideal world, we'd all be able to set aside time for a long session in the bedroom but real life being the way it is, there's work, chores, more work, more chores and in most cases kids to factor in to our busy schedules. So, what to do? Dr Gabrielle Morrissey says you don't have to bid your sex life adieu - just learn some sneaky ways to make time for it!
1. Get a weekly affection fix, even if it’s not the full
When it comes to sex, and keeping your libido firing, it’s always better to do something rather than nothing. If you don’t feel like you’ve got the energy for a full sex session, at least connect through touch to remind each other the desire and appreciation for one another is still there. Try to make your affectionate time together be conscious and not just a mindless cuddle that you soon forget. Rather, make it a deliberate time of bonding, such as watching a movie together entwined, or having a bath together.
2. Embrace the quickie
Figure out between you what gets you over the finish line in minimum time and rather than try to make sex always a long, sensuous exploration and indulgence, just go for broke sometimes. Scratch that itch in the best – and fastest - way you know how! Sex isn’t always a marathon. Sometimes a quick sprint connects you just enough, spends your sexual energy together, and can be lots of fun too!
3. Find stolen moments of time together and make the most of them
Share your showers, sneak some canoodling in during the day, or as much as it may not sound appealing right now, set your alarm earlier and wake up and roll over to each other and make time for sex before your busy days even begin. It might be the best motivation to not hit the snooze alarm ever!
4. Flirt
It's free and it takes almost no extra time at all. The benefit? It puts the idea of sexy time together at the front of your minds and may just turn that usual "no" to a "yes" the next time one of you suggests sex - no matter how tired or busy you feel! That's the upside of flirting and having sex on the brain - it makes you want to do it, no matter how much else you have going on!
5. Enjoy at-home date nights
Many couples are pretty good about prioritising date nights: they hire a babysitter, or decline invitations from friends to go out as a group, and head out on the town for dinner, dancing or a movie to enjoy each other's company. Yes, those date nights are important. But if you find you make more time for socialising than time for sheet sizzling sex, then flip your priorities. Make plans for date night, but instead, farm the kids out to other people for sleepovers or someone who will babysit at their place, and rather than go out, make a plan to stay in, specifically for sex. Put your phones on silent, hide the TV remotes, drop every other item on your to-do lists, and hop into bed together for a few hours.
6. Cut back the time you spend on other things
Keep a diary of your time for at least two weeks. Watch where you spend your time, rather than complain about how you have none for each other. Think of your time like a budget: where can you conserve so you can splurge on more time for one another? What changes can you make after paying close attention to where you really are spending your time apart? Make those changes and commit to keep them.
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