The maiden edition of Forty Weeks and More by Edem Knight-Tay, which aired at 5pm on Joy Prime on January 18, 2025 was revealing, informative and educative. 

It featured Whitney Boakye-Mensah, a Ghanaian event organiser and the Founder of My Dear Sister's Keeper, a foundation that focuses on parenthood, fertility, stillbirths and miscarriages.

Whitney’s story is not just touching. It also gives hope to people in a similar situation. She had two stillbirths and seven miscarriages before finally having her three sons.

A miscarriage is the spontaneous or unplanned expulsion of a fetus from the womb before it is able to survive independently, while a stillbirth is described as the birth of an infant that has died in the womb (strictly, after having survived through at least the first 28 weeks of pregnancy, earlier instances being regarded as abortion or miscarriage).

When Whitney appeared on Forty Weeks and More, she told Edem about her rocky journey to successfully conceiving and having children.

Societal pressure

Typical of society’s standards, people were expecting to see Whitney bear children soon after her marriage. She said people wouldn’t mind asking why it had taken so long for her to give birth. 

“Society is looking at you. You are married, obviously what is next? Where is the baby?,” she said. 

She recounted that her search for a baby took her to a lot of places she would ordinarily not visit.

“The first one was a still birth, a baby boy; the second one was also a stillbirth and the miscarriages started coming," she said.

According to her, if her first boy was alive, he would be about 18 years old now.

The stillbirths and miscarriages

Recounting her first experience of a stillbirth, Whitney indicated that she started bleeding while she was pregnant and also had contractions. These signs gave her the inkling that there was something wrong, so she had to go to the hospital.

“They took me to the scanning room and started scanning to see what the issue was and they realised that the placenta had separated from the fetus... I was bleeding more and they realized also that his heartbeat had dropped so immediately they said they had to bring him out," she told Edem Knight-Tay.

Unfazed by the misfortune, they tried again but unfortunately it happened again - another stillbirth. 

“The second time of my stillbirth was bad. Because we knew it was all the way through. My mum was in London then, she had sent baby stuff, she sent baby food in preparation for the baby,” she said.

Whitney said when the miscarriages started, she began hearing all sorts of things. Some people even advised her to stop wearing high heels.

At a point, some of her husband's family members said they were planning on getting him another wife from their hometown who could bear children for him.

"It got to a point even love making became a chore", she indicated, explaining that "because you know you are not doing it only to enjoy it but for this purpose."

Whitney and her husband stopped going for naming ceremonies. They did not like the experience of usually having people hit the baby on her stomach and prophesy that "a year by this you should be holding yours."

Stripping naked before pastors

Her final hope was even more traumatising - a church along the Kwaku road. After two stillbirths and seven miscarriages, some family friends recommended the church to them, so they had to give it a try.

Although the church premises did not look attractive enough, she said people with cars visited the place, got there as early as 3am to present their various needs before the priests.

However, receiving that "miracle" of bearing a child came with a price; one that required Whitney stripped naked before the pastors for some 'rituals' to be done for her.

“A suggestion came that this supposed church, they had helped people have babies. So we should go. I stripped naked in front of the supposed pastor because apparently, spiritually, I had to do cleansing and all that," she noted.

Whitney said the Junior pastors would preach until 4pm before the senior priest came around. 

“Fortunately, when I was stripped naked, my husband was also there. He was in the room. They would give you some herbs in a bucket to go and bath, both of you. So you go and bath in some place and then when you finish they give you concoctions to drink, and give you some to come home with. By the time we left there and got home, I was bleeding black," she recounted.

Initially she thought it was her regular menses but they realised a particular unbearable stench had suddenly visited them in the room and no matter what they did, it would just not go. They had to rely on their Reverend Minister who came to their rescue.

The life changing moment

Whitney further recounted that her mother also started getting worried about the situation so she asked around and was told about one Brigadier General Saka.

She said when they first visited the doctor, "we spent four hours in the consulting room with him and he did not talk about pregnancy or babies. Nothing. We had every conversation under the sun but that."

When they were leaving, the doctor wrote some tests for them to run. He put them on some hormonal drugs that would not affect their system.

"Three months down the line, I was feeling sick and I didn't even notice it," she said, adding that she went to the hospital and she was asked to run a test.

"We were in the consulting room chatting and he came back with the results, laughing and said 'you have a bit malaria but I want you to lie on the bed' and as soon as the machine hit my stomach you could hear the pulse of the foetus," she said.

Whitney got stitched, was advised to have a lot of rest and to undergo elective caesarean section. At week 36, the boy was taken out.

She said even though she was "put off", she could hear the cry of the baby when they took him off.

"When I opened my eyes, the first question I asked was, 'where is my baby'?," she said, highlighting her moment of joy and relief.

After the first 'miracle', she had two more children (also boys).

Whitney intimates that despite the ordeal she went through in search of a baby, the experience has empowered her to give hope to other women through the establishment of her foundation: My Dear Sister's Keeper.

About Forty Weeks and More

Hosted by the Programmes Manager of Joy FM and host of Home Affairs, Edem Knight-Tay, Forty Weeks and More highlights the stories of some of the most challenging moments women go through from the conception of their babies through to delivery, nursing them and more. 

The programme will make you pray, cry, laugh and take you on an emotional journey. Ultimately, it will educate and equip you for motherhood and parenting.

Every woman who desires a baby prays to carry the pregnancy to full-term forty weeks with no complications whatsoever and then go on to deliver their bundle of joy. But that certainly is not the case for every woman. 

Some women and their families go through very tumultuous and challenging times in a quest to have a child they call their own. 

Many women have lost their lives to this desire and in some cases sadly, both mother and baby never make it home. 

Many marriages have ended up on the rocks because of this desire and some women live very miserable lives due to their inability to have children. There is also the challenge of having children with special needs and the grueling efforts it takes to take care of them.

Forty Weeks and More with Edem Knight-Tay airs on Joy Prime every Saturday at 5pm. It is also available on Family Forum Africa channel on YouTube.

The show is sponsored by Ernest Chemist Limited, Shape Healthcare, Labadi Beach Hotel, R Luri, Doberta Merchandise, SHAPE Healthcare Specialist Medical Centre, Lunch Avenue and Decorzone.