Scene: A dimly lit conference room, somewhere in Accra. The defeated NPP presidential candidate, Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia sits across the table from the newly elected president, John Mahama. The air is thick with tension, regret, and the faint aroma of coffee.
Dr. Bawumia: (sipping water and sighing) “Congratulations on your victory, John. You ran a good campaign. Very…focused.”
John Mahama: (smiling smugly) “Thank you, Doc. You know, it wasn’t hard. All I had to do was promise what your government failed to deliver—jobs and a little hope. The people were already tired of paying E-Levy to scroll through Facebook.”
Dr. Bawumia: (frowning) “Ah, you had to bring up the E-Levy? You know I said I was going to scrap it!”
John Mahama: (leaning forward) “Oh, I heard you loud and clear. But the thing is, while you were saying that, Akufo-Addo was busy collecting it like Sunday offertory. How do you expect Ghanaians to believe you? It was like a man preaching fasting while chewing roasted plantain. Mixed signals everywhere!”
Dr. Bawumia: (shaking his head) “It’s not that simple. I was championing digitalization! The E-Levy was a temporary inconvenience…”
John Mahama: (interrupting, laughing) “Temporary? My friend, Ghanaians don’t know ‘temporary.’ When they’re broke, they’re broke! You taxed their mobile money in the middle of a cashless push. It’s like selling umbrellas during a drought. Mis-timed, Doc. Mis-timed.”
Dr. Bawumia: (visibly annoyed) “Fine. But at least I had a vision. Digital transformation, tech hubs, AI... Where’s your plan? You just kept shouting, ‘Jobs, jobs, jobs!’ like a broken record. What’s your magic formula?”
John Mahama: (grinning) “The magic formula? It’s simple. Credibility. The people didn’t trust you, Doc. Look, while you were out there promising jobs, your party was busy borrowing and collapsing the economy. Promising to transform the economy? Your government had already transformed it…into chaos. Inflation was dancing azonto. Who would believe you?”
Dr. Bawumia: (leaning back, exasperated) “So you just told the people what they wanted to hear?”
John Mahama: “No, no. I showed them what they wanted to see. I didn’t just talk. I aligned my message with action. You said you’d cancel E-Levy, but let it stay. You said LGBTQ+ had no place in your government, but Akufo-Addo couldn’t even sign the law. Meanwhile, I said I’d create jobs and showed them concrete plans—agro-industries, infrastructure projects, and proper tax policies. You talked, but we acted.”
Dr. Bawumia: (rubbing his temples) “I feel like Akufo-Addo’s presidency overshadowed my campaign. Every time I tried to speak, it was his actions that people focused on.”
John Mahama: (nodding) “Exactly. It’s like what the old folks say: ‘What you’re doing is so loud, we can’t hear what you’re saying.’ Your president’s actions drowned out your promises. And by the time the people came to the polls, they were just looking for a way out.”
Dr. Bawumia: (sarcastically) “So what now? You wave your magic wand, and all of Ghana’s problems disappear?”
John Mahama: (laughing) “Oh, no. I’m not naive. It’ll be hard. But the people need to see effort, not contradictions. They need hope, not noise. You taught me that. So, thank you for paving the way with your government’s…experiments.”
Dr. Bawumia: (standing up, bitterly) “Enjoy your victory. But remember, promises are easy. Delivery is the hard part.”
John Mahama: (smirking) “Oh, I know. But don’t worry. I’ll make sure your E-Levy serves a purpose before I cancel it. Hahahaa"
Dr Bawumia: (grumbling as he leaves) “Ghanaians will miss me when reality sets in…”
John Mahama: (calling after him) “Don’t worry, Doc. You’ll always have your digitalization legacy—assuming that we still have internet by the end of this debt restructuring!”
As the door closes, John Mahama leans back, a victorious smile spreading across his face. Outside, the chants of jubilant Ghanaians celebrating a new era fill the air.
Disclaimer
This article is a work of satire and fiction, created purely for entertainment purposes. It is not an accurate representation of actual conversations or events involving Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia, John Mahama, or any other political figure mentioned.
The content is intended to provide a humorous and exaggerated perspective on Ghana's political landscape and does not reflect the personal views or statements of the individuals named. Readers are advised to approach this piece as a lighthearted commentary rather than factual.
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