In a stunning turn of events, Ghana's justice system has unveiled a revolutionary new legal doctrine: 'Guilty Until Proven Innocent'! This ground-breaking approach was recently showcased in the case of Oliver Barker-Vormawor, organizer of the recent anti-illegal mining protests in Ghana and his merry band of 52 protesters, who were swiftly arrested and denied bail for the heinous crime of... blocking a road.
Now, you might be thinking, "But aren't they presumed innocent until proven guilty?" Ah, dear citizen, that's so last century! Our innovative justice system has decided that it's much more efficient to presume guilt and make the accused prove their innocence. After all, why bother with pesky principles like the presumption of innocence or the right to bail?
But why are they in custody, you ask?
Well, the state has a foolproof argument: "Barker-Vormawor didn't run away when we charged him with treason, but he'll definitely run away now that they've blocked a road!" It's airtight logic, really. I mean, who wouldn't want to flee the country after such a dastardly deed?
But what about evidence tampering?
Great question! The police claim that the accused might tamper with evidence, despite the fact that the roadblocks were removed even before the arrests. Perhaps they're worried the protesters will reconstruct the roadblocks in their homes and practice blocking imaginary roads? The mind boggles.
But what about individual assessments?
Individual assessments? Tweaa! Who has time for that? It's much easier to just deny bail to all 53 protesters en masse. Efficiency is key, folks!
But what if they were your family members?
Ah, now that's a different story! If they were part of our political party or our family, we'd be singing a different tune. "Bail? Of course! They're good people, Your Honor. They'd never dream of running away or tampering with evidence."
So there you have it, folks! The new and improved justice system: 'Guilty Until Proven Innocent'. Coming soon to a court near you.
Remember, the next time you're accused of a crime, be prepared to prove your innocence from behind bars. And if you're planning a protest, make sure you have a comfy pillow handy - you might be staying awhile.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. The author does not actually believe that the justice system has officially adopted the 'Guilty Until Proven Innocent' doctrine. Or do they...?
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