My head is feeling heavy as I write this piece. That is my way of saying I have a ‘swollen head’ the way we mean it in Ghana. And it is due to the feedback I received in respect of my article on Yvonne Nelson.

I am happy because for some time now, I have not received the kind of feedback that urged me to write my two books- A Guide to Writing Feature Articles and Creatively Writing with the 5Ws and H. I don’t know whether it is coincidence or divine orchestration, but the latest outpouring of feedback has occurred exactly a year after I launched the books.

Well, I love feedback and at a point when I was not receiving any, I thought I had lost the ability to elicit them as I did two years ago when this column resumed. Now I know that my readers prefer the focus on social to political issues. They don’t want to be tagged. I get it. A friend named Winnie even remarked, in relation to the article on Yvonne thus, “I am tempted to ask...WKHKYD? - Wo kↃↃ hↃ kↃ yɛɛ diɛn? Meaning, I am not known for commenting on the entertainment industry. So, I will try to do more of those. Deal.  

And what better way than to discuss matters arising from the launch of ‘I am not Yvonne Nelson’? One of the persons at the receiving end of the content of the book and one-time bedmate of Wye (my pet name for everyone called Yvonne), Michael Owusu Addo, a.k.a Sarkodie, has responded to the assertion made against him. Before I delve into that though, please share in my swollen headedness. First the praise singers:

“Straight on point!!! A very good piece of advice for all to read/listen and learn from.” – Dickson

“Your article in connection with Yvonne Nelson's memoir is fantastic!!!”  – Gabby

“God bless you for your write-up to Yvonne Nelson. I pray you reach out to her for more talks. Your wisdom is very well rooted in the word of God. Thanks so much.” – Afua

“Senior, indeed you have spoken well. God bless you. I appreciate every bit of d article and learnt a lot and I hope Yvonne will read it.” - Philip

“Hello Eric, u are a very great writer. I have read ur advice to our female actor Yvonne Nelson, well done sir.” - Frank  

“Hi Eric, I love your writings. I will be glad if you will be my mentor.” – Lizzy

“Thank you for standing up for a mother. God richly bless you. I can envisage what that woman is going through. I wish I can reach her. I would have pleaded with her not to curse her but rather hang on to Exodus 14:14 as a means to comfort herself. I am a woman and every point you made in your article is true. Thank you.”- Ruth

“I hardly read articles online but this is exceptional so I have taken time to read it and also to send you this mail.  The content of this article is not only to Yvonne but also to all of us who keep wishing and hoping for things that never was and would never be. God bless you for bringing out such great wisdom from this book. "Mummy" would indeed be grateful that there's someone who sees beyond black and white print. Have a blessed day.”- Ama

“Absolutely Brilliant. May the Lord grant Yvonne's mum peace. She certainly is in pain even if she's carefree. Thanks for sharing” – Sylvia

“God richly bless you for ur article on Yvonne's memoir. I'm in her situation but got my soul revived again by ur beautiful article. I just have to be strong and keep pushing.” -Ivy

Then the one with some reservations…

“Hi Eric, I chanced upon your article on the subject matter. I enjoyed your smooth English sentences and general knowledge shared, I agree with you on most of them, a few I wish to reserve my comments on. I wish I can write so beautifully like you, haha!  I want to say thank you and keep up the good work. Regards.” - Roger 

And now….The total disagreement…

“Dear Eric, I just read your write up on Yvonne and this is where I disagree with you on the many paths you believe Yvonne has led her mum and deserves to apologise to her. Yvonne is now an adult and has had her fair share of affairs-with men she may not have wished to do anything with but it so happened.... probably also as a result of the circumstances surrounding her life, the emptiness and the constant need for affirmation. 

Having had her fair share of affairs, I'm certain she would have best understood her mother if she had been vulnerable enough to explain any circumstance surrounding her birth. To even mention Peter Ala Adjetey as her father and the shame that came with it after, is denigrating for the young lady to say the least.  I am one of those who know my dad but have little to say about him like you mentioned, but it's worth gold knowing my roots. 

I could go on and on but this is how far I can. The mother rather owes her daughter a big apology. She could have saved the situation long ago on the several occasions her daughter sought to know who her father was and they both would have been a source of strength to each other on the path of healing. The various narrations/commentaries and in some circles what seems like mockery of these young lady's journey also tells me most Ghanaians are really shallow minded. (Sorry this is not in reference to you).

Read also: https://myjoyonline.com/from-erics-diary-in-defence-of-a-mother-i-am-yvonne-nelson/

There are several lessons in that book that the media and other sane minds could have highlighted for young ladies, young men, parents, people in authority etc to learn from, but as usual, the Ghanaian chooses the hypocritical path because it's not about them. 

That her mother may have guided her singlehandedly doesn't warrant the pain she has also taken her daughter through. Self identity is the greatest satisfaction one can ever have and if you've grown up with one childhood trauma or the other like I have, you'd better understand her. You've judged Yvonne wrongly in that write up dear Eric. Thank you.” – SK

Hmmm! Majority, they say carries the vote. So, if ten readers out of twelve agree with me intoto, one partially and one completely disagrees, all I can say is that the verdict is out there and the fact remains that you cannot wish to be someone else. Do you know what people are going through? Besides Yvonne Nelson’s issue, we all know how Nana Ama McBrown is struggling with her injured right hand and Naa Ashorkor also shared a horrifying experience she went through some time ago. Stacy Amoateng too. And you want to be like them because they are in the limelight and enjoying life’s niceties? The message is, ‘be proud of whatever life has thrown at you while you take steps to better yourself.’ In other words, aspire to be the best version of yourself, not to be someone else. After all, “this life naa, yawa!”- six feet at last.

I am not Sarkodie

I am a fan of old school highlife music. So, if you ask for my favourite musician, I am likely to choose among Kojo Antwi, Daddy Lumba and Amakye Dede. When it comes to the new school, Kofi Kinaata, Kidi and Kuami Eugene are my favourites. As a ‘music native’, I am inclined to the Bhim Nation more than the Sark Nation. That’s because my first son has succeeded in indoctrinating me into it. And I stayed because, despite his hairstyle which I despise, the lyrics of some of Stonebwoy’s songs are so educative and inspiring. Thus, if you see me and shout Bhim!!!, I wouldn’t mind responding Aaabwoy! The Bhim Nation President’s songs are unlike that of Sark which turns me off because all I hear are self-praise and arrogance. I must confess though that I am unable to resist the rhythm of “Oofeetso, kaa fee Skin pain.” When it is played on radio while I am driving, I tap the steering wheel to the beats until it ends. That said, my disposition towards Sark took a nose dive due to the reaction he gave to public concerns raised about his decision to publish photos of himself smoking a cigar two years ago.

“The only thing that blew me off is the fact that they expect me to apologize. It’s very disrespectful to say that. For me to come and apologize for holding a cigar? To who?” he asked in an interview with Andy Dosty on DayBreak Hitz. And the reason for smoking the cigar? “It is a sign of celebrating my successes and achievements.” Hm! What negative vibe from a fine gentleman?  

As mentioned earlier, the President of the Sark Nation has responded to the claim by Wye that when he impregnated her, he asked for an abortion. According to Sark, he did no such thing. Rather, he wanted the pregnancy to be kept to full term and the baby delivered, but Wye said she could not do that because she had a bachelor’s degree to pursue.

Like me, although the details of Sark’s rejoinder were surprising to many, the medium was not - rap music titled, ‘Try me’. Here are excerpts:

Baby girl make you no try me make you no try me

I never thought I was gonna be on this wave
'Cause I was ready to take a couple things to my grave
First of all lemme clap for you baby you brave
But you can’t pick and choose what to say please behave

You gotto tell the world every other nigga you f*ck
You can’t just play the victim and paint a picture
Like you were looking for love from all the d*cks that you s*cked

I’m not gonna sit here and lie we had a thing
First no thought you were cool till I had a hint
Na me fiis3 boys a clocki with the baddest bitch
Nanso s3na yenyinaa y3 Sesa so s3 Cuban links
I was trying to stay away from you but then you came
Wo kyer3 me s3 wo nyem and I’m the one to be blamed
Abi boy from the street I know the game

Yes I wasn’t ready but then I told you to keep it
Wo kyer3 me s3 wo school na wo ko gotto complete it
To be very honest till today I don’t believe it
So don’t you make it seem like I was the one pushing you for abortion,
'Cause that b the only part wey make I vex

Take the blame cause nobody is the
'Cause for your bad choice in life stop the personal attacks
I pray you get the healing that you need
M3n be claimi good girl, you are for the streets
Strategy na hot obaahemaa gye wo 2
Meaa ma gye one copy sharp I’m about to read

Interesting, is it not? And the rhythm that was added to the lyrics makes the song so nice to listen to and dance if you are a hater of Yvonne. One thing is clear to me. By stating that he did not ask Yvonne to abort the pregnancy, he has told us that he is not the Sarkodie being referred to- hence my title, “I am not Sarkodie.” That’s because the now President of Sark Nation is not even sure whether he was responsible for that pregnancy. Hehehe!

But Wye has responded by asking Sark to respect womanhood. Thus, I could not help asking if Auntie Maggie, her mum, is part of womanhood? Then what I consider a curse- “We both have daughters, let’s see what life throws at them.” – Yvonne. That’s a woman scorned right there!!!

To spare myself from any attack by Sark Natives, let me reserve what I have to say about their President. In place of that, I want to reproduce what one of Wye’s colleagues- Actor Prince David Osei said to Sark;

“Childish Tantrums!! Never let the kid in you destroy the king in you … Whoever sleeps with a woman get her pregnant and don’t own up as man and goes about labelling her “Whore” is the dumbest a**hole ever .. She was a “Whore” yet you shagged her unprotected got her pregnant!! God have mercy on those supporting tomfoolery!! #respectwomen.

It’s time to go

The word backlash means a strong negative reaction by a large number of people. That is what Sarkodie has suffered since the release of ‘Try Me’. Apart from Prince David Osei, Black Rasta, Mr. Logic and Halifax Ansah Addo have condemned the artiste. Not to mention the numerous non-entertainment industry people who have also ‘thrown shades’ at Sark.

The question that begs for an answer is whether he should have responded to Yvonne’s assertion at all? This brings into focus a long-standing Public Relations (PR) debate on whether one should respond to every seemingly defamatory statement made against him or her in public. There are three schools of thought. One for responding to everything, the other for being selective in what you respond to and the third, not responding at all.

I belong to the responding to everything school. For me, it is how you respond that matters. Indeed, at the London School of Management where I did a short course in Public Relations, my key takeaway from one of the resource persons is this, “Even if you have nothing to say, say I have nothing to say.” The point here is that you either have to acknowledge what has been said and apologise or you have a cogent explanation to offer that clarifies the issue and absolves you of blame.

As such, while I love it that Sark responded, it is the wayward manner in which it was done that irks me. A simple “Yes I wasn’t ready but then I told you to keep it.
Wo kyer3 me s3 wo school na wo ko gotto complete it” would have sufficed and averted all the backlash. But I am not surprised. You expect King Sark to ‘lie low’ when his huge brand, “successes and achievements” have been “disrespectfully” dragged in the mud? Then he is not Sarkodie. ‘Try Me’, that’s his response.

Auf Wiedersehen - that’s goodbye in German.

Let God Lead! Follow Him directly, not through any human.

The writer is the author of two books whose contents share knowledge on how anyone desirous of writing like him can do so. Eric can be reached via email ericayettey@yahoo.co.uk.