You've heard it before: Men are visual; women are verbal. Men are impulsive; women like to analyse things. Men are from Mars; women are from Venus.
So since men and women are opposite in many ways, it makes sense that male and female hearts swell for different reasons.
While you probably smile when your mate says, “I love you,” those same three words from you may not do much for him.
Here, 10 gestures that show you care and why they’re more meaningful to the guy in your life.
• Your undivided attention: "When the male brain sees you checking your phone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I'm not important,’” says marriage therapist Mike Dow, PsyD.
That’s because men’s brains evolved to do one thing at a time while filtering out all other stimuli, he explains. Even though women function differently, your man will appreciate you focusing solely on him.
“It says, ‘You are my priority, and I love you,’” adds Dr. Dow. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.
• His favourite meal: “Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And the couples I’ve treated who know small details about each other have the happiest marriages,” says Dr Dow.
• Wearing that dress he loves you in: Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you’ve been together.
“Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains,” says Dr. Dow. “Seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him.”
• Taking care of yourself: Shedding stress, eating right, exercising and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re also ways to show you love him.
“This communicates, ‘I want to have a long, wonderful life with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from experiencing the grief of losing someone,’” says Dr. Dow.
• Complimenting him: Let your husband know you think of him the way he’d love to be seen: as a provider, problem-solver, handyman, sex stud and knight in shining armor.
"Genuine compliments on his looks and strength confirm that you admire him, which equates to love,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD.
• Encouraging him to take time for himself: Occasionally, suggest he takes a day to relax with friends, play video games or just sleep in. “This shows support and allows him the freedom to do what he needs to be his best self,” says Dr. Brosh.
Your husband will see hassle-free, worry-free, chore-free time as a loving reward.
• Asking his advice: Your man wants to feel like an important part of your world. Asking for advice shows that you rely on him and that there’s a place for him in your life. Need, dependency and love go hand in hand.”
• Thanking him for the little things: “We’re rushing through life, we forget to notice the good deeds and guys forget to say what they need from you, but they have feelings, too.
Giving thanks will improve his attitude and infuse your relationship with a feel-good energy.
• A lengthy hug.: “While women connect verbally, men connect more through touch,” says Goldstein.
“Hug for at least seven seconds. It’s a long time, but there’s something about that number where the hold ends up really giving him something.” And there’s no doubt you’ll like it, too.
• Letting him vent: “Listen to his worries or problems without trying to fix them,” advises Dr. Brosh. “It shows him you don't deem him weak or inadequate and affords him a place in the relationship to share that part of his life. Moreover, it shows you care.”
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