Why it counts: Just under 60 percent of women say your flirtatious messages are a major red flag. That’s because even though it’s not full on sexting, flirty messages can be a slippery slope, says Hokemeyer.

“Instead of being based on our primal sexual needs, [flirty texts] are based on our need to be seen, heard and desired,” he says.

If what you pass off as “fun” and “innocent” violates boundaries you and your partner have agreed on (whether they’re implied or you’ve discussed them), then you’re crossing a line.

Your move: If she’s uncomfortable with messages you’ve sent to other women, and your relationship means a lot to you, cut it out.

You should recognize what’s happening and ask why you’re looking to flirt with others, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of How Could You Do This to Me? Learning to Trust After Betrayal.

Then, put that flirtation back into your own relationship. If you feel like you’re not getting what you need from your partner, but you want to make it work, you may need to talk to a pro about why that is to get to the root of the problem, says Hokemeyer.

Going out to dinner with someone you're attracted to 

Why it counts: More than 40 percent of women say that wining and dining with another woman you’re attracted signals infidelity.

But this is where things tend to get a little tricky. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else. The human brain is wired to seek out potential mates, says Hokemeyer, so you need to be honest with yourself.

“Are you going out with them to get laid, or simply to enjoy their company?” says Hokemeyer. “Women consider these types of dinners cheating because they are risky. There’s a real risk they will turn into something more.”

Your move: Having dinner with another woman will probably make her feel insecure about your relationship, especially if you try hiding it from her. Put yourself in her shoes: Why invest your time and money in another woman when you have her?

“Before you fill your ego up by having the dinner, consider the costs to hers,” says Hokemeyer.

Why it counts: Would you be comfortable with your girlfriend busting out dollar bills to surround herself with hot men flopping their junk in her face? There’s a reason nearly 30 percent of women are turned off by strip clubs.

If you’re comfortable enough planting your face in someone else’s boobs, she’s probably going to assume that you have no problem with crossing those boundaries outside of the club, too, says Hokemeyer.

Your move: Don’t want to miss out on your best friend’s bachelor party? Save yourself the heated argument and just ask her if it’s okay first, suggests Hokemeyer.

“Give her an opportunity to have a voice in the matter,” he says.

So even if she’s okay with it, establish some ground rules. That way, you’re fully aware of what she is and isn’t comfortable with when you’re out with the guys.

Following your ex on social media

Why it counts: About 20 percent of women consider your online “friendship” with an ex as cheating. But to be fair, it should only count to a certain degree, explains Hokemeyer.

Do you constantly check up on what your ex doing? Do you get jealous when you see photos of her with other guys on Facebook? Do you get angry when you see her doing something fun? Then you probably haven’t moved on, which is a sign that you’re not ready to fully commit to your current partner, he says.

Your move: If you do find yourself checking up on your ex, it’s time to hit that “unfriend” button and move on, especially if you want to make things work with someone new, says Hokemeyer. But if you genuinely just appreciate your ex as a person and friend, and feel that you’ve completely let go and would like to maintain a positive relationship with her, then you should be able to do so, he says.

“Women feel uncomfortable with you being online friends with an ex because they feel threatened by them,” says Hokemeyer. “For some reason, they are insecure in the relationship.” (Here are four other things that might be making her jealous.)

So before you take any action to unfriend or unfollow, spend sometime figuring out what it is that’s actually making her feel insecure—then take action accordingly.