1. Is that all yours? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It's really not your business, and it's rude to ask. Also, do people ask Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or Jessica Simpson these kinds of questions? There are women with sew-in and clip-in hair of all ethnicities and hair textures, folks. Never assume.

2. Can you comb it or brush it? In my experience, the "Can you comb your hair?" question is an awkward attempt at shade, meant to imply that there's no way the impenetrable forest on top of my head could be tamed. I'm happy to tell you that, yes, I can comb my hair. I prefer to comb it when it's wet and drenched in conditioner and comb from tip to root when I'm in the shower. Brushing can make my natural hair frizzy, so I choose not to, but some women with natural hair totally love using a brush. I'd say in general, it's wisest and best to assume that we're all taking care of our hair in a way that works best for us and keep the personal grooming questions to a minimum lest you sound ignorant.

4. How'd you get it to do that? It depends entirely on what you mean by "that." If you're referring to the spirally, voluminous, and upward nature by which my hair grows out of my head, then I didn't do anything. I just let it grow and be fabulous on its own terms.

5. How come your hair looks like this and [insert another person of color] has hair like that? Because we're different people with different genetic makeups and, most likely, different ways of styling our hair? No two heads of natural hair are alike. It's like comparing snowflakes. Why compare when you can just appreciate that they're all beautiful in their own way?

6. You've got "good hair." It's time for the phrases "good hair" and "bad hair" to go away forever. They are labels that speak to an outdated and limited Eurocentric standard of beauty that we shouldn't buy into anymore. All hair is good hair.

7. You know who you look just like? Jill Scott. No wait, Solange. No, wait, Tracee Ellis Ross. No, wait … All those ladies have beautiful hair, but we don't all look alike. My natural hair allows my personality to shine. While I may admire a celebrity's style, the fact that our hair grows up and out in a similar way doesn't mean I really look that much like them.

8. I'd wear my hair natural too. If I had a dollar for every time a random lady confessed that to me, I'd be sitting pretty. Life is too short to wonder what you'd look like if you ever took a beauty or style risk. Life's too short to forever use chemicals to alter the texture of your hair without ever truly knowing or appreciating what your hair looks like or how beautiful and healthy it could be if you took care of it in a different way. Instead of wishing your hair looked like someone else's, why not learn to love and maintain your hair as it is? Then someone else might be looking at you, wishing their hair looked as beautiful and healthy as yours.

9. Do you go swimming with it? Of course I do. My natural hair doesn't hold me back from swimming or working out.

10 . You know, you could look really great with it straight. Or with a looser curl. That's basically like saying, "I don't like your hair as it is and would prefer if you'd adhere to an inconvenient grooming practice that skews closer to my limited standards of beauty." (See also: "You should straighten it more often!") Yawn. I'm happy to ignore any and all unsolicited beauty or hairstyle suggestions.

11. Wash and go? So you just ... do nothing to it? It can be as easy as that, depending on the natural woman! Natural hair doesn't have to be incredibly complicated, contrary to popular belief. But some of us do have the knowledge and skill to come up with amazing hairstyles. That's the beauty of natural hair — it's so versatile.

12. Are you going to leave it like that for your [insert important life event here]? Yes, I am. I rejected outdated notions that natural hair isn't "professional" for work or that I can't wear it to my wedding. It's my choice, my prerogative, and I look gorgeous.

13. Does it hurt to comb it? I know my hair may look vibrant and alive, but you do know that hair doesn't have nerve endings, right? Natural hair does require careful detangling, but if I comb it from the tip and work my way up to the root, and don't pull on it, there is no pain involved.

14. If I let my curls have their way, I'd look a mess. See, it's conversations like these that lead to a slippery slope of uncomfortable projection. "That looks so cute on you but would look terrible on me" is often code for, "I think natural, curly hair looks messy or unkempt." Let's just quit while we're ahead.

15. CAN. I. TOUCH. IT? First of all, that's such a weird question. Second of all, no. I'm not a pet. And eww, where have your hands been?